This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
186. I will not take advantage of the-depressed-Utena when Wakaba is around.
187. I will not eat anything that has been touched by Chuchu.
188. I will not pull Nanami's braid if she will use her henchwomen against me; I want her to get back at me.
189. I will not touch Touga's hair if that will make him think I want a taste of his bedroom misadventures.
190. I will not sleep with Kozue if it's going to be a battle for dominance.
191. I will not confess my lingering admiration for Ruka in front of the broken Shiori.
192. I will not be seen near Touga so as not to be mistaken as one of the ladies he slept with.
193. I will not break the rules to keep the Seitokai at bay.
194. I will not befriend students with unusual hair colours.
195. I will not write a love letter to Juri if Saionji will receive it by mistake.
196. I will not grow black roses in the rose garden.
197. I will not reveal my well-kept secrets--especially in Mikage's presence.
198. I will not allow myself to be tempted to stalk the Seitokai even if it's to feed my curiosity.
199. I will not attend my cooking class if Anthy is present.
200. I will not stay/sleep in one of Ohtori's dormitories.
Offline
201. I will not put bleach in the Seitokai's shampoo. (They're all so vain... can you imagine?)
202. I will NOT put spycams in Akio's tower.
203. I will not break a piece of the Akio Car off, plant it, and see if it grows. (They look like trees in the dueling arena...)
204. I will not put animal control on speed dial.
Offline
ME IZ BACK!
205. I will not scratch the "Pimp my (B)ride" logo on the Akio pimpmobile
206. I will never, ever ask Shiori if she will make sex with me, when Juri can hear that
207. I will never purposely participate in Prof. Nemuro's "Revolutionary Poptart Project"
Offline
208. I will not make blonde jokes in front of Nanami. (I will in front of Kanae, though. I mean, what's she gonna do about it?)
209. Miki's new nickname is not "Stinko-Man."
210. Akio is not "going grey early."
211. I will not insinuate that Mikage's clothing and hair color varies depending on his flavor.
212. I will refrain from asking any of the characters if the carpet matches the drapes.
213. I will not order the student council to form Voltron.
214. If I see a red dot on Anthy's forehead, I will not knock her to the ground and yell "Get down! Sniper!"
215. Okay, maybe I'll do it once. But I won't try to get away with it again. Especially not on Akio.
Offline
OnionPrince wrote:
209. Miki's new nickname is not "Stinko-Man."
Oh my God, that's hilarious! He does look like Stinkoman!
216. I will not tell Nanami or Utena that Touga got the Rose Bride pregnant just to see the look on their faces.
217. I will not force Saionji into a more intimate relationship with Touga or Wakaba.
218. I will resist the urge to run my fingers through Saionji's fabulous hair.
219. I will not ask Wakaba when she is going to come out of the closet.
220. I will not become one of Nanami's loyal henchwomen.
221. I will not put a hidden waterproof camera in Akio's shower... no matter how tempting it might be.
Last edited by Riri-kins (09-23-2008 12:40:55 PM)
Offline
222. I will not rant to the Shadow Girls about consiracy theories.
223. I will not hold Ruka down and attempt to dose him with Elixers.
224. I will not offer one of my famous shoulder massages to Akio.
225. I will not bring Kuramitsu Mihoshi of Tenchi Muyo to Ohtori. There is enough chaos there.
226. I will not yell "DRAGON SLAVE!" at a person I am dueling. It will not help.
227. I will not sing "Call Me Princess" on karaoke. Anthy would probably make me die a painful death.
228. I will not tell Anthy of "A Knight's Duties". Utena would probably slap me.
229. I will refrain from exposing Akio. Not only would nobody believe me, but I would probably go the way of Kanae.
230. I will not draw real!Mamiya for Mikage. He would probably push me into the furnace. Or mistake me for Mamiya.
231. I will not constantly quip "There is no spoon" when asked about anything related to the Duels.
232. I will not ask Miki to yell "Mercury Star Power!" or anything related to Sailor Mercury.
Last edited by Anthiena (09-23-2008 03:35:15 PM)
Offline
233. I will not sneak AK-47 assault rifle into dueling arena with me to make sure I win.
234. That being said, I will not secretly snipe persons while in the arena to make sure the person I like best wins.
235. I will not drive through the Ohtori grounds with me music blasting just to get in trouble so I can go see the Student Council.
236. I will not sing "Dude, Looks Like a Lady" in front of Touga, Saionji, Akio, Ruka, or Miki. Or Juri.
237. I will not attempt to molest Saionji. I swear I won't. Seriously. I won't.
238. When attending a party, I will not try and find out if any of the men are wearing dissolving tuxedos.
239. I not attend an all girls sleep over with Juri, Kozue, or Shiori.
240. I will not name any of my pets "Nanami".
241. I will not wear a t-shirt that says "glomp me and die".
242. I will not dance on Ruka's grave.
243. I will not pay Saionji to slap people for me.
244. I will not shock the monkey.
Last edited by BlackRoseVixen (09-23-2008 04:32:23 PM)
Offline
245. I will not ask Juri for hairstyling tips (even though I'm dying to know how she does it).
246. Though I love making and eating bento, I will not put more effort in it than Wakaba.
247. I will not walk around campus singing songs from the Utena musical.
248. I will not be caught dead in the poofy-sleeved monstrosity that is the Ohtori girl's uniform. (Corollary: I will not wear any variation of the boy's uniform.)
249. I will not tell girls who choose to wear the girl's uniform that "I like your sleeves--they're really big" in a Napoleon Dynamite voice.
250. I will not ask Akio for driving lessons.
251. I will not spray-paint graffiti on the Chairman's Tower.
252. I will not berate Touga for his bad English.
253. I will not join the astronomy club.
254. I will not forget about any and all aspirations which would lead me to leave the school.
255. I will not get too hung up about fellow students forgetting about me when I "graduate."
256. I will not ask Akio or Anthy which part of India they're from.
257. I will not hint at the implications of Nanami being turned into a cow in relation to Hinduism when Akio and Anthy are within earshot.
258. I will not eat anything that I myself have not prepared.
259. I will not introduce Miki to the wonders of ProTools and Garageband.
260. I will not slap Saionji upside the head regarding his treatment of Wakaba.
Last edited by mercurynin (09-23-2008 06:45:59 PM)
Offline
Anthiena wrote:
226. I will not yell "DRAGON SLAVE!" at a person I am dueling. It will not help.
...Are you sure?
Offline
dollface wrote:
Anthiena wrote:
226. I will not yell "DRAGON SLAVE!" at a person I am dueling. It will not help.
...Are you sure?
Offline
261- I will not question long stretches of highway that seem to go on forever with no traffic.
262- I will not slash Akio's tires, lest i feel his wrath (the bad wrath)
263- I will not question the physics of an upside down floating, spinning castle in the sky
264- I will not cry when Dios enters me.
265- I will not mention Juri's "ball" *ding ding* to Nanami, in fear of another egg incident.
Offline
I will have nothing to do with the Chairman.
I will not talk with the Chairman again.
I will avoid Akio.
I will resist Akio.
I will try to resist Akio.
I absolutely will not do that again, ever.
No, I mean it.
Alright, but only on Fridays and Saturdays. The rest of the time I'm too busy.
Something just came up, looks like I'm free...but just for this week.
Ok, I think I can pull some strings next week, but after that I can't make any promises.
I really need a new dress.
Offline
-I will not parachute onto or off of the dueling arena.
-Nor will I land on it with a helicopter.
-I do not need to report car crashes that occur in the arena to the police or insurance agencies.
-When my opponents start showing up at the arena in a car, I may not plant landmines or roadside bombs at their starting gate.
-There is no such thing as an "Akio Tank" or an "Akio Armored Personnel Carrier."
-Miki is not a terrorist, and his stopwatch is not a detonator.
-Nanami does not have mad cow disease.
-Juri does not need "some serious deep-dicking."
-I will not attempt to win a duel by "TKO."
-I will not attempt to win a duel by "ring out."
Offline
Anthiena wrote:
229. I will refrain from exposing Akio. Not only would nobody believe me, but I would probably go the way of Kanae.
Besides, Akio will be perfectly happy to expose himself upon request.
Offline
283. I will not pair up with Anthy on a Home-Ec assignment.
284. I will not eat zeri soba in front of Nanami
285. I will not go to a zoo exhibit under the reason of field trip or anything that might have something remotely related to Ohtori Academy.
286. I will not get a cat because they will disappear by the next day
Last edited by Hiraku (09-23-2008 10:01:21 PM)
Offline
287: I will not say the following phrases during, proceeding, or following a duel: "Heaven or Hell," "Finish him," "Break the Targets!" or anything else of the like.
288: I will not stick around for breakfast the morning after sex with Akio, especially if Anthy is already awake.
289: Mysterious friends' repeated absence on one night of every week is not to be dismissed.
290: I will not use wire-stemmed plastic roses during duels on April Fools' Day.
291: In the event of a sudden crossover, I will not forget to stop, drop and roll, tuck my head between my legs, always feel the door with the back of my hands, and do everything to not be the Mary-Sue.
292: I will not hum Dona Dona to Anthy on Saturday nights.
Offline
I will have nothing to do with the Chairman.
I will not talk with the Chairman again.
I will avoid Akio.
I will resist Akio.
I will try to resist Akio.
I absolutely will not do that again, ever.
No, I mean it.
Alright, but only on Fridays and Saturdays. The rest of the time I'm too busy.
Something just came up, looks like I'm free...but just for this week.
Ok, I think I can pull some strings next week, but after that I can't make any promises.
I really need a new dress.
OnlyInThisLight I found your post:
Great stuff. And good luck with that!
Offline
I will not dress up in a red gown and glasses just to seduce Saionji.
Neither will I coo about how he looks sooo cute and vulnerable when he cries in front of him.
Kozue and Miki's relationship is nothing like Hera and Zeus's.
I will not ask Saionji how much it would cost to watch him and Touga do the dirty deed.
I will not ask Saionji how much it would cost for him to do the dirty deed with me.
I will not ask Saionji if he would like to do the dirty deed with me for free.
Offline
If I walk in on Anthy and Akio having sex, I will not casually walk through them, pour myself a drink, and sit down to watch and go "Aaaaw, how cute!" at every move they make.
When golfing, I will not attempt to "play through" a duel in progress.
I will not shove money into Touga's pants and tell him to dance like the bitch he is.
I will not snort Anthy's curry.
I will not snort Chu-Chu.
Offline
I will not grease the staircase to the dueling arena.
I will not put tacks along the Road to the Ends of the World.
I will not leave the floodlights on near the Shadow Theatre Club's performance space.
Offline
I will not mention the sheer improbability of being pierced by millions of swords and not being hacked to pieces in front of Akio or Anthy.
I will not ask Anthy why her family name is Himemiya and Akio's Ohtori.
I will not scream "DANCE PUPPETS DANCE" when the Student Council gathers.
I will not use double-meaning phrases in front of Nanami. She will probably wack me.
I will not join the Drama Club. I'm waay too crazy already.
I will not let Anthy cook for me. I will cook for her.
I will not shout "do me oh mighty doer!" if Akio seduces me.
Likewise, I will stay away from chatting Nietche with Anthy.
I will not mention real life witches to Akio.
I will not ask Shiori to pose for pictures while Juri is around.
I will not take pictures of Nanami peeking at Touga in the shower and hand them out. I will sell them.
Offline
satyreyes wrote:
Anthiena wrote:
I will not scream "DANCE PUPPETS DANCE" when the Student Council gathers.
Put that baby spell on me! Slap those puppets, make 'em free!
What kind of revolution to do?
Anger and rabies,
Acne and memories,
Unrequited woman rage,
But Utena says
"EH?!"
Offline
I won't, ever, call the Student Council the Gotei (and less Gotei XIII)
Never yell a silly, idiotic name for an attack
I won't go to the dueling arena with only a towel
I won't eat two hamburgers, 3 salads and one burrito just before a duel
I won't go to drink sake in the dueling arena
I will never try to peek on Jury (or Utena)
Offline
I will never ever let Utena and anthy borrow my Sailor Moon manga:rofl:
I will never ever go close with akio
I will never ever ask Utena to dress as Lacus Clyne
I will never ever say to Utena that she looks like Lacus Clyne
I will never ever say to Utena that she is like Lady Oscar
I will never ever say to Anthy that she is like Michiru when her hair is not tied
Last edited by ashura (10-25-2008 08:32:13 AM)
Offline