This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
#1 | Back to Top10-02-2007 11:08:29 AM
Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
SO. We discussed essays in my english class, and people had troubles with this. I wrote this up while I was bored. Here's what your paper (basically) looks like...
Hi! I'm interesting. This is what I'm talking about. <THIS IS MY POINT.>
So, listen here. Evidence. Or the first part of my story, depends on what the essay's supposed to be. If you don't know what the hell you're supposed to be talking about, look at the assignment sheet.
Here there be more evidence, or story, or what have you.
Notice a pattern? More body. Continue until you're out of evidence/story.
Break all this stuff up into paragraphs by subject or time or something like that. Don't be afraid of paragraphs. Love the paragraphs. They are your only guardian against being a big wall of text, which really really sucks.
<IN CASE YOU FORGOT, HERE'S MY POINT AGAIN.> It comes with some stuff that relates to life or the end of the story. One teacher I had said this bit wasn't as important as the beginning, which is good, because I suck at it.
...alright, now go back and see if it makes sense. Rinse, repeat, profit.
/bow
Last edited by alirias (10-02-2007 11:59:48 PM)
"I do not need Rule 34 of The Simpsons and Scooby-Doo when I'm looking for good porn." -ShatteredMirror
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#2 | Back to Top10-02-2007 04:57:53 PM
- ShatteredMirror
- Yaoi Pet #1
- From: Sacramento, CA
- Registered: 10-22-2006
- Posts: 8858
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
Pretty good outline, hon. :applause: Only problem is you forgot to mention the liberal amounts of bullshit that you have to spread to bulk up the paper when the length requirement outstrips the amount of pertinent content. 
Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.
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#3 | Back to Top10-02-2007 05:09:34 PM
- Raven Nightshade
- Someday Shiner
- From: Louisiana
- Registered: 12-17-2006
- Posts: 2925
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
Well, if you're gonna talk bullshit, you have to mention the Bullshit Fairy. The ritual below works best if you're holding a cup of coffee, but it's fine if it's empty.
Oh, Bullshit Fairy, if you're up,
Please put some knowledge into my cup.
Whether it's false or whether it's true,
I don't care as long as I'm through!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever gonna make it home again.
It's so far and out of sight.
I really need someone to talk to and nobody else
Knows how to comfort me tonight.
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#4 | Back to Top10-02-2007 05:33:21 PM
- ShatteredMirror
- Yaoi Pet #1
- From: Sacramento, CA
- Registered: 10-22-2006
- Posts: 8858
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
Okay, the ritual wins.
Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.
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#5 | Back to Top10-02-2007 11:59:11 PM
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
Raven Nightshade wrote:
Well, if you're gonna talk bullshit, you have to mention the Bullshit Fairy. The ritual below works best if you're holding a cup of coffee, but it's fine if it's empty.
Oh, Bullshit Fairy, if you're up,
Please put some knowledge into my cup.
Whether it's false or whether it's true,
I don't care as long as I'm through!
I think I love you.
And now I'ma sleep, because the essay isn't due 'till next tuesday and I'm about to fall on mah face.
"I do not need Rule 34 of The Simpsons and Scooby-Doo when I'm looking for good porn." -ShatteredMirror
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#6 | Back to Top10-03-2007 12:34:57 AM
- ShatteredMirror
- Yaoi Pet #1
- From: Sacramento, CA
- Registered: 10-22-2006
- Posts: 8858
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
You shoulda been in bed already. Tsk tsk.
Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.
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#7 | Back to Top10-03-2007 09:37:15 AM
- SexingTouga24/7/365
- is on a BOAT!
- Registered: 12-10-2006
- Posts: 2267
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
Raven Nightshade wrote:
Well, if you're gonna talk bullshit, you have to mention the Bullshit Fairy. The ritual below works best if you're holding a cup of coffee, but it's fine if it's empty.
Oh, Bullshit Fairy, if you're up,
Please put some knowledge into my cup.
Whether it's false or whether it's true,
I don't care as long as I'm through!
That is awesome and i have a friend IRL that has said some thing like that.... Bullshit Bullshit for the win!!!!
"If all the world is a stage and all the people players"...then I demand a less shitty part or the ability to get off of the stage. Slowly my sanity slides, slipping, swirling, spiraling...Save Me I need Sleep...Shattering Soon.
"RukaxTouga equals the Fourth of July" MY patriotic celebration...FUCK ME TOUGA AND RUKA NOW!! 
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#8 | Back to Top10-03-2007 03:12:22 PM
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
Raven Nightshade wrote:
Well, if you're gonna talk bullshit, you have to mention the Bullshit Fairy. The ritual below works best if you're holding a cup of coffee, but it's fine if it's empty.
Oh, Bullshit Fairy, if you're up,
Please put some knowledge into my cup.
Whether it's false or whether it's true,
I don't care as long as I'm through!
One very much needs to remember to remove the little notes to self scattered throughout the paper that read "ADD MORE BULLSHIT HERE." Because if one forgets even one, the professor will find it, and she will laugh hysterically, and she will share it with all her friends, and she will immortalize it in her file of "ridiculous things written in student papers".
... one of my friends was teaching an Art History class a few years ago and found exactly that in a paper. She called it "the Platonic Ideal of the student paper."
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#9 | Back to Top10-03-2007 07:33:23 PM
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
tohubohu wrote:
One very much needs to remember to remove the little notes to self scattered throughout the paper that read "ADD MORE BULLSHIT HERE."
Yikes. I did that once, I left 'blah, blah, blah' at the end of one of my paragraphs.
Teacher didn't even notice. I don't think teachers read most of the essays I hand in. 
Akio, you have nice turns of phrase, but your points aren't clear and you have no textual support. I can't give this a passing grade.
~ Professor Arisa Konno, Eng 1001 (Freshman Literature and Composition)
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#10 | Back to Top10-03-2007 07:41:16 PM
- ShatteredMirror
- Yaoi Pet #1
- From: Sacramento, CA
- Registered: 10-22-2006
- Posts: 8858
Re: Ali's Irreverant Guide to Writing Papers.
I've always taken my notes out. That would be why.
Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.
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