This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)

#76 | Back to Top12-04-2008 04:28:00 PM

Shinolala2
Forum's Favorite Mommy
From: U.S.A.
Registered: 12-04-2008
Posts: 431
Website

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

Epi_lepsia wrote:

141. I will not warm Pop Tarts in a toaster. And in which case, I will pay attention not to burn the Nemuro Memorial Hall or any other building of the academy.

dude they actually have cooking instructions on the box. its funny.
emot-dance


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#77 | Back to Top12-04-2008 04:41:22 PM

Shinolala2
Forum's Favorite Mommy
From: U.S.A.
Registered: 12-04-2008
Posts: 431
Website

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

293: i would not jump on utena's back, i might actually throw her out the window.
294: i would not give saionji a banna he might get a little perky.
295: i would not give anthy her watering can without murdering her first with it.
296: i would not give touga a cell phone because he will run up a huge bill.
297: i would not give mitsuru chocolate because he will come back complaining he has pimples.
298: i would not say shut up to the shadow girls because they wouldnt listen in the first place.
299: i would not kiss up to my chairman just because i think he's hot.
300!: I would not fall in love with miki because kozue might be around the next corner with a sword.

lol.emot-rofl


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#78 | Back to Top01-11-2009 08:18:25 PM

Rose Rust
Juri Jeerer
Registered: 11-17-2008
Posts: 49
Website

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

I will avoid anyone who says I am very similar to the current Rose Bride because of my love of forehead jewels, shaved ice, roses, wild colored hair, red cars and fencing
When around the Chairman, I will sit with my legs crossed
I will never show anyone my bare feet
If Touga touches me, I will not shout, OMG,UNCLEAN!! and spaz so much I faint
I will run when Akio and Touga try to get me in the car
I will bring a knife to cut through the tape when Touga and Akio force me into the car
I will overcome all my insecurities before someone finds out about them and uses them against me, forcing me to duel. And when this fails, I will not make it obvious as to who I pulled the sword out of
I will not replace Juri's theme song with I kissed a girl By Katy Perry
If the staff tries to get me to send a message to Akio, or the council, i'll tell them that i'll sue them for child endangerment
I wll not ask Akio how his "better half" has been
I will not refer Touga to a rape victim's help center
I will not refer Kozue to an incest victim's help center
I will not ask Nanami where to cat got off to
I will not ask Mitsuru why he hit puberty so early
I will not ask the teacher with the glasses why she carries a whip...
I will not let the student council walk in on me when i'm browsing Empty Movement

Last edited by Rose Rust (05-10-2010 05:09:52 PM)


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#79 | Back to Top01-12-2009 04:06:32 AM

pojypojy
Miki Molester
From: Italy
Registered: 01-05-2009
Posts: 33
Website

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

kodaly wrote:

I will not present Touga with a kitten with an attached card reading, "Because I know how much you love pussies."

You win the interwebs :-D

- I will not try to get Saionji drunk just to get in his pants.
- I will not allow Akio and/or Touga to get me drunk to get in my pants.
- I will not make Rose of Versailles joke, especially around Utena or Jury.
- I will not ask the folks at movie!Ohtori how long does it take to climb up those stairs, exactly
- I will not take life drawing classes where Anthy is the model.
- I will not open a kiosk just to sell condoms inside Ohtori. Or maybe I will. Those folks need it.
- I will not ask anyone where the hell their parents are.
- I will not ask Anthy where exactly she bought Chu Chu.
- I will not send fake!Ends of the World letters just for a laugh. emot-dance

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#80 | Back to Top01-12-2009 10:21:34 PM

Itsuke
Pathtracer
Registered: 12-08-2008
Posts: 341

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

1. I would not manage to get a rose signet myself and enter as a new duelist.
2. I would not try to enroll into Ohtori before Utena arrived.
3. I would not wear a modified version of the boy's uniform
4. I would not laugh at the teacher's face when she attempt to nag at my choice of outfit, and say, "Really, haven't you learned that gender is a social construction? What, don't tell me you did not attend college?"
5. I would not try to win Anthy for myself.
6. I would not sleep on the same bed with her.
7. I would not bring my cat along to my new dorm.
8. I would not introduce my cat to Chu Chu.
9. I would not try out Anthy's cookery.
10. I would not ask Tonga, "Do you take it in the ass?"
11. I would not join the drama club and see what the Shadow Girls really look like.

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#81 | Back to Top01-15-2009 11:27:04 PM

StarlightArcher
Miki Molester
From: Texas
Registered: 12-06-2006
Posts: 30

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

1) I will not join the photography club!
2) I will not tell Koze her brother is hawt
3) I will not give anyone the impression that I might want to "polish his sword"
4) I will not make crank calls about "having a personal relationship with Jesus" to members of the student council
5) I will not ask if "tea and tiny cakes" are provided at the End of the World
6) I will not question the physics of the dueling arena
7) I will not brag how awesome my legs look after climbing all those d@mn stairs!
8) I will stop writing stalkerish love letters to the student council
9) I will stop chasing Nanami around with a branding iron
10) Considering the hazard factor...I will never jaywalk on or around Ohtori Academy


Why yes, I am made of Fabulous!

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#82 | Back to Top01-27-2009 05:20:45 PM

Riri-kins
World's End
From: Cloud Nine
Registered: 09-22-2008
Posts: 2354

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

I will not sing The Ding Dong Song in front of Akio.

I will not blackmail Touga by threatening to show those sexy homoerotic pictures to Nanami.

I will not ask Keiko what happened to the rest of her bangs.


Proud Saionji and Mikage fangirl
My Utena fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2000115/Riri-kins

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#83 | Back to Top01-27-2009 07:08:04 PM

oscarthewild
Rose Bride
From: USA
Registered: 01-25-2009
Posts: 117
Website

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

I will not throw pies at Juri and run off. Also, I will not steal her locket. Or at least attempt to.
I will not dress Nanami in a bumblebee outfit. Even though it would be funny.
Also, I will not drive her to a cow farm and leave her there.
I will not tell Keiko that she has a snowball's chance in hell of gaining Touga's love. That would be mean.
I will not tell Utena that she can never be a prince.
I will not dye Akio's hair pink in his sleep. I will also not cut it in the same style of Akio in the movie.
I will not feed Chuchu pixy sticks. God knows what it would do to him.
I will not destroy Anthy's rose garden...somehow.
I also will not get Touga and Saionji drunk and take a picture of the two of them together.


Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

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#84 | Back to Top01-28-2009 09:31:19 AM

TawnyAngel
Juri Jeerer
From: Wales
Registered: 05-08-2008
Posts: 47

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

I will not sneak into the rose garden and paint all the roses black.
I will not repeatedly ask the members of the student council what it feels like to have their sword pulled.
I will not cut Utena's hair when she's asleep, even if she does look good with short hair.
I will not provide riding-crop teacher with a bullwhip.
I will not rig any of the lifts around campus to play annoying music.
I will not attempt to steal Akio's car even if it is a babe magnet.
I will not obtain nude shots of Shiori and attempt to sell them to Juri no matter how priceless the look on her face would be.
I will not ask Nanami if she likes kitties.

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#85 | Back to Top02-05-2009 12:29:18 PM

Riri-kins
World's End
From: Cloud Nine
Registered: 09-22-2008
Posts: 2354

Re: Things I will not do at Ohtori

I will not urge Nanami and Juri to have a bling-off.
I will not curl Touga's hair while he's asleep and then put a really really drunk Ruka in his bedroom. school-devil
Ruka's forelock does not have magical powers.
I will not ask Anthy how great it felt to be rid of the million swords of hate while she was in Utena's body.
Saionji is not my little sweetie num-nums, and calling him that would only get me slapped.
I will not dress Kozue in the Wind Pretear outfit and call her tulip head.
Kozue's theme song is not "Milkshake" and Miki's is not "Man, I feel Like a Woman."

Last edited by Riri-kins (02-05-2009 02:24:14 PM)


Proud Saionji and Mikage fangirl
My Utena fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2000115/Riri-kins

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