Vesus wrote:

I won't, ever, call the Student Council the Gotei (and less Gotei XIII)

((( You rock for the mention of Bleach. )))

I will not shout, "Meganekko moe girl!" whenever Anthy is around.

I will not put out a mouse trap for the anime version of Chu-Chu.

I will not call the health department to check on all of Anthy's pets.

I will not give Tatsuya a wedgie, or a swirly. Same goes for Mitsuru.

I will not tell faceless nobodys with normal hair that they can be part of the main cast if they just slap Anthy a few times.

~ I will not talk to any member of the Seitokai. Ever. They have enough on their plates without dealing with my own issues as well.

~ I will only talk to Mikage if I absolutely can't get a hold of a real psychologist. Unless he is certified to dispense psychotropic medication.

~ I will not foreshadow. I will not divine.

~ The Fourth Wall is strictly off limits to anybody whose name starts with "B" and ends in "ioKraze".

~ I will not tell Kozue that she needs to be more aggressive if she wants to bag Miki.

~ I will not tell Anthy that she needs to be more aggressive if she wants to bag Utena.

~ Ditto the above for Mitsuru in regards to Nanami.

~ I will not tell ANYBODY that they need to be more aggressive if they want to bag anybody else.

~ I will not play the song "World Revolution" at any time whenever a member of the Himemiya family is around.

~ Ditto "Dancing Mad" and "One Winged Angel."

~ I will not try to convert Juri to any religion.

~ I will not refer to Akio, Touga and Saionji as the "Fab Three," unless I wish to become human sashimi.

~ I am not a Kashira, and insinuating that I am because I know what's going to happen in the end will only alienate me further. Plus I might become human yakitori.

~ Not allowed to drug Akio's cognac with GHB so Anthy can have some fun.

~ Ditto Utena's tea for the same reason.

~ Not allowed a teaching position at Ohtori Academy unless it's a HARMLESS elective.

~ Not allowed to start a GSA on campus. They don't need one at Ohtori.

~ Not allowed to ask Anthy if I can "touch the redneck" whenever Akio's around. (if this one is too offencive, I will remove it at request.)

~ I will not recite the Bene Gesserit "Litany Against Fear" if Akio is within earshot.

~ That goes double if he's in his Ends of the World outfit.

I will not snatch Juri's locket and ask "Will it Blend?" right in front of her.

When confronted with the physical impossibilities of the Ohtori campus, I will not ask the chairman where his TARDIS is.  Nor will I ask him how many regenerations he has left.

I will not hide in the rose garden dressed as a Beast, nor will I threaten any students who touch the roses.

When invited to dinner at the Chairman's home, I will not ask his sister if she has a knife I can borrow.

I will refrain from expounding on the superiority of orchids.

I will not accept any jewelry given to me by anyone.  (But I'll gladly take the cash equivalent)

I can walk home, thanks.

I will not ask the Chairman how he keeps his floors so shiny all the time.  I probably don't want to know.

I will keep repeating to myself, "Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar," even though I won't believe it.

I will not steal locks of Saionji's hair and use them to cover the bald spots on my lawn.

I will not present Touga with a kitten with an attached card reading, "Because I know how much you love pussies."

I will not press the emergency stop button in the elevator.

I will not be anyone's fiancee.

I will not take piano class and be a young boy at the same time.

I will not dye my hair in unnatural colors.

I will not offer Nanami a kitten from the recent litter my cat had.

I will not notice one of the kittens looks like Chu-Chu.

I will not ask Tsuwabuki if he is actually a halfling rogue with a +7 stealth modifier disguised as a 10-year-old.
I will not ask Nanami if she is a natural blonde.
I will not ask Akio why he's wearing a cowboy shirt.

If Dios comes down from the sky to possess me and lead me to victory, I will not put on a big show by puking green slime and masturbating with a crucifix.

Or at least not excessively.

"Nanami, have you ever considered being tested for rabies? We think it might explain your odd mood swings...."

"God, Juri, aren't fashion models just the biggest air heads EVAR? I mean they're so princessy and stupid and useless..."

"Touga when WAS your last STD test?"

"Saionji. I think I know what you need. Vast quantities of alcohol. It might help you calm down some."

"Akio, tell me the truth. Is there birth control in the water? There must be, right?"

I will not ask Mikage, "Why does somebody even need to challenge Utena? Why don't you just kill the Rose Bride when she's alone and vulnerable?"

Akio's real name is not Nipple McNippleton the Third.

I will not use novel and short story titles as euphemisms.

Likewise, I will not use food items as euphemisms, particularly dessert items.

I will not mention Kelsey Numbers in front of Juri.

I will not talk exclusively in double entendres in front of Miki. I will save it for Akio.

I will not imply that Akio is just a fucked up version of Jesus.

I will not ask Kanae to say "Tenchi". Or call "Ryo-Ohki". Or sing "Lonely Moon".

I will not slap Utena hard and ask her what the hell she's doing even allowing Akio to approach her.

I will likewise not make snarky comments about dolls in front of Anthy.