Written by Giovanna and Yasha. 
You may be asking yourself what the hell this is, and why you should read it. More likely, you've already read your favorite character's scenario and have come to the foreword for a hint or two as to what you just went through. The answer is simple. This is an essay, or perhaps better to call it a project, wherein there are short stories illustrating the male cast of Revolutionary Girl Utena, spanking women, and analysis of the events that unfold in them. These two halves are written by Yasha and me respectively. This is the first of what will hopefully become many (horrifying) joint efforts between the webmasters of Empty Movement. 'Hopefully' because it was a barrel of fun, 'horrifying' because as evident by the choice of subject matter, we both have filthy minds, and I can't see us ever working together on something that doesn't ultimately degrade into sex. Should that ever happen, it would probably mean the end of the world, or in my case, the complete absence of him.
Wherein Giovanna explains herself: It goes without
saying—so I'll say it—that this whole concept is very
much tongue in cheek, and one must take it with a grain of
salt. Or else. Yasha and I both
are fully aware of the absurd nature of this project, and truth be
told that was half the fun. God knows it would be a sad state of affairs
to take the analysis of a television series 100% seriously all the
time. However, this is still analysis, and though the choice of content
is inherently silly, the approach to it and its production is not.
Yasha went to great pains making the scenarios as accurate to the
characters as humanly possible. Most said pains involving my critique,
which I'm still amazed she hasn't lynched me for. She's blessed with
divine patience, truly. For my part, the analysis of the scenarios
was done in all seriousness. I would not have been able to do this
if I thought for a second there was any stretch of truth or falseness
about the way the characters behaved. Between Yasha and I, both admittedly
fanatical about analyzing the behaviorisms of the cast, I think we've
done quite well for ourselves. If you have some objection to this,
perhaps you think we've missed the mark on a character, or maybe you
feel this whole thing is stupid and we should be flamed for writing
it, by all means let us know. But remember kids, it's just a TV show,
and we're just devoted fans, with dirty minds and a little too much
free time.
Wherein Yasha explains herself: Well, here it is. The moment all four of you have been waiting for. *chuckles* You'd better have a damned good sense of humor.
A few months
back, Gio and I decided to write an essay, except this one would be
a little bit different. We had a pretty good handle on how the characters
act, we thought, so we decided to create hypothetical scenarios for
them—written out by yours truly, edited and picked to pieces
by Giovanna, analysis by Giovanna, analysis editing and nitpicking
by me. So I wrote the short stories. By the by, Gio, if there were
any possible way to critique that more thoroughly, I would have asked
you to do it. SPANK ME HARDER, I LIKE THE PAIN.
Due to the
atypical nature of the scenarios, the reader may find themselves disagreeing
with our interpretation. This is fair; these are our interpretations
of the characters, not yours, and if you think we've done it wrong…
write your own damn essay. We are, as always, happy to accept well-written
and thought-provoking analysis. We will not, however, rewrite
something because we 'got it wrong'. Every effort has been taken to
assure ourselves that we're being as objective as possible, and we're
right cause we say so, dammit. *grins* 'Sides, if you're taking it
that seriously, there's obviously something wrong with you and you
should purge these wrong feelings… by writing an essay. Like we did.
Yes, we know we're crazy.
This is your warning: DO NOT READ THIS ESSAY/ GROUP OF ESSAYS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED. We haven't made much effort to restrain ourselves in here, and at least one of these scenarios falls just barely short of an NC-17 rating (hay guys, does anyone else think Touga's a slut? No? TOO BAD). Anyone who doesn't think they can handle this sort of thing is quite free to go back and check out the other essays; anyone who manages to read past our wordy disclaimers has only him or herself to blame for mental anguish incurred by reading on.
That said,
do enjoy. We've worked hard on this one.
Kyouichi Saionji (nonconsensual violence, shame)
Miki Kaoru (haha no warnings here)Ruka Tsuchiya
(cutesy relationship behavior, gross)Mikage Souji (intellectuals engaging in sex behaviors)Touga Kiryuu (nonconsensual violence, explicit sexual behavior, profanity, Touga)Akio Ohtori (explicit sexual behavior, Akio being Akio)Afterword (Comparisons and Conclusions)
PS. The quick-witted
among you might have noticed this is not the entire male cast. Missing
are Tsuwabuki, Tatsuya, Nanami's musical male henchmen, and possibly
Chu-Chu. I think we've already pushed the limits of decency dragging
7th grade Miki into this project, so Tsuwabuki's elementary school
ass was simply not an option. Tatsuya appears too briefly to be included
here, and he wouldn't have done it anyway. Nanami's musical male henchmen
were left out because we're saving orgies for another project. (Haha,
scared you didn't I? No, no such thing is planned, but now that I
mention it…) As for Chu-Chu…no. What the hell, are you sick or something?
Besides, what's he gonna spank? The frog? Look, bestiality is illegal.
I think we're already pushing our luck involving Saionji. (Yes, that's
a LOL SAIONJI'S AN ANIMAL joke. I kid because I love.)
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