Kihin Ranno - Utena's Not-So-Virgin Wedding

   And thus begins another dream where the dreamer is Utena... Only this one was at her wedding. O.o And it would be good to point out that I had this dream directly after watching the Utena movie... And spending the whole day reading up on the series... So everyone who looked different in the movie is about how they looked here... With the exception of a certian long-legged older man who was not like the movie... *drools*

   Anyway, for some unknown reason, Utena (long wavy hair from the movie) and Touga (dressed in the movie uniform now that I think of it...) were getting married... How that came about (and what the hell she was on when she said yes) is absolutely beyond me... In any event, we were at the alter, and the priest who was performing the ceremony looked like a human version of Chu-Chu... I know it sounds impossible, but I swear to go that is what he looked like.

   Anyway, then Chu-chu man says, "If anyone wishes to question just why the hell Utena is wearing white on her wedding day, even though she slept with Akio when she was fourteen or just to plain contest this ridiculous union, speak now or forever hold your peace..."

   I (being Utena) was quite peeved at the mention of my virginity and said as much... Touga was just kinda looking at me like he was about to jump me and take me right there... There was nothing but silence until Chu-Chu man repeated himself eyeing the door as if he was waiting or someone to enter...

   When who comes through the door but Anthy in the Rose Bride dress, movie style. She looked mad as hell and said, "Oh for heaven's sake, I leave you two alone for half an hour and here you are getting married! Touga, where's your other hand?"

   On my (Utena's) butt of course. Where else would it be?

   Anyway, once Anthy figures that out, she pounces on Touga... And needless to say begins kicking the crap out of him. O.o Well... It is Touga... So one would think he would be able to over power, as he has done with thousands of women before her (and he had done it to her as well), but for some reason it just felt... oddly right and predictable at the time. But now I must say, that it was the most ridiculous looking thing I had seen at the time... Anthy actually hitting someone... After getting hit so many times....

   But I digress... So I am standing there with my arms crossed over my chest going, "Well how long until this nonsense is over with? I may as well just watch everyone else..."

   So I made the biggest mistake of my life by turning around to see what everyone else was doing...

   A-ko, B-ko, and C-ko were the first things I saw... They were all sitting at a table (that had just magically appeared in the main aisle) smoking cigars and playing poker... For some odd reason, Mikage was looking over one of their shoulders and telling them what to do... And purposely making her lose. --; Why Mikage I will never know...

   Then I see Miki, Kozue, and yes, a living rubber ducky... No I am not lying, the rubber ducky was walking and talking... And poking Miki in the butt with Saturn's glaive. I would really like to know just where he got a hold of it, but I digress once more. Miki has his stopwatch out, timing how long it takes for the rubber ducky to take the glaive away and everytime he stops it, he yells at the duck... but whilst the glaive is on his butt, he has virtually no reaction to it... As for Kozue, she's just watching with a smile on her face while tossing a tweezers between her hands... And not the happy kind... More like the oddly aroused kind... And quite frankly, the tweezers and the glaive being in the same place is oddly disturbing... I don't know why but it gives me chills...

   Anyway, then I look back over to Anthy and Touga... And make the discovery that you can see through Touga's blood as well as his hair! And then I look over at Nanami who is trying to order her cronies to save her big brother Touga, but they won't do it out of fear of Anthy beating them... But even Mitsuru was refusing to help. ;_; I love that kid...

   Next I hear some screaming coming from the back of the room... It is none other than Wakaba chasing the Goat of Lucifer... Err... Shiori around the chapel. Wakaba was brandishing a spatula of all things and whipping Shiori with it. Shiori kept screaming, "Juri-hime (yes hime... I don't know why... but that's how it was) help me!"

   Wakaba looked downright... evil. O.o I mean it, her eyes were alight with malice! --; Err... Sorry...

   Moving along, then Shiori decided to hide behind Saionji. Wakaba immediately began drooling over Saionji, who was being surprisingly helpful to solve the problem... but not without ulterior motives! He finally said, "Let's solve this dispute with a three way in the choir loft," both girl's agreed and all three started quite literally skipping to the back of the church... Saionji skipping... it was just... So very wrong....

   Then I looked over to Juri... who was sitting on Ruka's lap!! o.O And so I call out, "Juri-san! I thought you... ya know, fenced for the other dueler!" (did I ever say it made sense?)

   Juri kinda smiled and said, "Well I finally decided to give in and do what every other character on this show has done... become bi," she then hopped off of Ruka and said, "Oh and learn how to properly resurrect a person. That was most helpful."

   And I kinda sigh and say, "What next? Are Miki, Kozue, Juri, and Ruka going to participate in an orgy?"

   Then Ruka calls out, "And the duck! Don't forget the duck!"

   I quickly looked away and tried to find something else to occupy my vision with... And of course I see the Akio car... Knowing full well what the Akio car was associated with, I became incensed... I was practically the only one in the room who wasn't getting any, and it was most vexing. ^.~

   Then who descends from above (complete with light and angelic chorus) but Akio! ^____^ I (still being Utena) throw myself at him and say, "Lucifer, get me the hell away from all these perverse sexual acts!!"

   Yes this was said to Akio.

   Then Kanae popped up randomly and said, "Get engaged to him sweetie, then you'll never be involved in anything sexual ever again..."