You know what? I hate html.I wish I was doing almost anything else.Like getting laid. I could be having sex right now, but noooo.I watched Utena lose her virginity again this weekend.That scene is so hot.The fine line between obsession and madness is... what was I saying?GIRL ON GIRL ACTION!!!I want that outfit. I like red and black. What a surprise.This layout took forever to get just right. But that was because I took so many breaks.I never ate glue in kindergarten. Hard to tell, huh?Gio keeps talking about food. What a bitch.LEGS.See, I'm being productive. Now if only I could do this at work, where productive is just a dream...GODDAMMIT STOP TALKING ABOUT FOODYou know, those are the only important things in life. Food, sex, and sleep.Everything else is just window dressing.I have to clean my house still. That sucks.I hate cleaning. I should buy maids.I want to go to a museum, but I don't want to get out of my jammies.I suck at being energetic.Funny, you don't look Druish.


Marith - Roses and Other Scary Stuff...!

   Utena stops into Akio's office.  (This is a little different in the dream - he's in a corporate office like the one where I work, with lots of little rooms and cubes all in grey.  Naturally Akio has a nice corner office with a window.)  They chitchat about working late and studying, and very awkwardly, she brings up how it's no fun to just eat a hot pocket from the microwave alone, and would he...sorta kinda to go to dinner instead?  Of course he says yes.  And he'll call Anthy! Utena gets a brief "hey! maybe three IS a crowd" look on her face which he doesn't see, but recovers fast.

   Next scene they're coming back from dinner and stop into one of the big conference rooms so Akio can get something. He's in an expansive mood, holding forth to Utena on many subjects, and suddenly he segues into "Did I ever tell you why my sister likes roses so much?"

   "No!" says Utena, fascinated.  Anthy, over on the other side of the room, has that flat emerald expressionless gaze turned on her brother.

   "It was when she was very small.  Anthy had been sent away for something, and while she was gone the chateau gardens were remodeled..."   Stylized scenes like those in the fairy tale introduction, showing a huge Versailles-like palace and acres of formal gardens.  A faceless princess in a ball gown, clearly Anthy, wanders among them.

   "All the roses were taken out for the new design.  When Anthy returned, she was inconsolable.  We had raised her to believe that anything beautiful should be treasured eternally.  Aunt Sofia tried to comfort her..." In the fairy-tale pictures, a faceless adult with a kind voice looms over Anthy, who is on her knees crying. "Don't cry, dear. The roses aren't gone; they're right here."  She empties a bushel of roses over the girl's head.  All different colors, cut off with very short stems - in the animation, they look just a little bit like a bushel of severed heads. Little-Anthy screams and puts her hands over her face as the rose heads fall all around her.  It's one of those images that could be really pretty, a shower of roses, but because Anthy is so upset it looks quite creepy instead.

   Present-day Anthy is over by the blackboard.  She starts to write "But she" and then stops because Utena is Not Paying Attention.  Anthy puts down the chalk and turns away as her friend continues to gaze raptly at Akio.

   Next scene, the three are  walking down the hall towards Akio's office. But wait - his office is full of police and what look like a couple of soldiers, searching through his papers.  Akio backpedals hastily and makes up a cover story. "Oh, they must have started with my things already. My last day in the department is tomorrow, and they always do a...(blah blah blah)".   Utena isn't THAT gulllible - she looks distressedly between Akio and the office.  Meanwhile Anthy leans over a diagram showing the frequency of interdepartmental transfers and tries to draw her attention to it. ("Oh my, is it true that most employees here transfer ten times?")

   Utena isn't buying this. "Akio-san...?"

   He says gently, "Please don't be concerned; it was Anthy who made the slip. Go on home now."

   Anthy, head bowed, walks into a nearby empty office.  Utena takes a few steps toward leaving, changes her mind and runs after Anthy.  "Himemiya, I won't leave you."

   Anthy turns on her _violently_.  "Get OUT!"  She slaps Utena.  "This has nothing to do with you!" Shocked, Utena backs out of the office and down the hall as Akio, expressionless, walks into the room with Anthy. Utena pauses, holding her cheek, tears in her eyes.  She quietly walks back to peer into the room again.

   Anthy is lying on her side with Akio on top of her, as though he justleaped on her and bore her to the ground.  Both of their heads are turned to look at Utena, and Akio is leering _horribly_ - I can't describe it. The image of them freezes into a pencil drawing backlit with yellow, like an important moment in Oniisama E.   It was so shocking that the dream-me, watching this on TV, screamed and jumped.

   Time-passing image of Utena in pajamas, alone in their bedroom but not sleeping.

   Next morning. Anthy sits in front of a vanity mirror, putting up her hair.  Utena bounds in with forced cheerfulness.  "Hi!"  She bounces all around the room, has a present and comforting words for Anthy, and is clearly trying to make all of last night not have happened by sheer force of will.

   That's when I woke up going "ack!"  Somehow I don't feel rested...


   Excerpt from a post on the "SKUAD" mailing list, posted with the author's permission.