You know what? I hate html.I wish I was doing almost anything else.Like getting laid. I could be having sex right now, but noooo.I watched Utena lose her virginity again this weekend.That scene is so hot.The fine line between obsession and madness is... what was I saying?GIRL ON GIRL ACTION!!!I want that outfit. I like red and black. What a surprise.This layout took forever to get just right. But that was because I took so many breaks.I never ate glue in kindergarten. Hard to tell, huh?Gio keeps talking about food. What a bitch.LEGS.See, I'm being productive. Now if only I could do this at work, where productive is just a dream...GODDAMMIT STOP TALKING ABOUT FOODYou know, those are the only important things in life. Food, sex, and sleep.Everything else is just window dressing.I have to clean my house still. That sucks.I hate cleaning. I should buy maids.I want to go to a museum, but I don't want to get out of my jammies.I suck at being energetic.Funny, you don't look Druish.


Curly Locks

Frau Eva

She was my only challenge, you see. Fencing with anyone else was a chore, busy work. I will always cherish my duels with her; she's the only one quick enough to make me feel that surge of adrenaline, the only one who can come close to surprising me anymore. Even before I loved her, she was the only one who could make my heart race.

She's a beautiful and dangerous creature. Other girls, the girls I've dated, are nothing like her. They're adoring to any pretty face that gives them attention, crowding around eagerly like puppies in the pound. These docile things only turn on each other, using a few choice giggles and nasty remarks behind an unfortunate girl's back. Words are her weapon as well, but while theirs is a cloaked dagger, hers is a full sword. She uses them openly, edging in a few sharp barbs between our duels. Even talking to her gave me the pride of a challenge, that I was finally dealing with an equal. My girlfriends grew jealous at times, me being all alone for hours with her at 'our place.' But they came and went. Our duels never did.

It wasn't very long before I started to notice the way the sun shimmered on her curls, the smile that crept up her face when she thought of something to tease me with, the quick grace with which she moved. I studied her so closely before, hoping to reveal some way to overcome her in a duel. Now habit slowly transformed into obsession, into madness. My heart now not only raced when she fought me, but every time she graced my vision.

But how could I even begin to win her? She'd only laugh at my little chivalries, saying, "What, am I one of your girls now, Ruka?" No, you're not some princess always in need, you're not like the other girls. But then what are you? All I know how to do is save and protect, fight and defend. There must be some crack in your armor, something I can save you from.

One day we were walking back from fencing practice, me and her. There were three elementary school girls in the deserted quad, delighted that they could play where they were not welcome. A jump rope and hoola-hoop lay discarded on the ground. The sun was beginning to set, but the threat of darkness didn't concern them. There was something so peaceful about watching them frolic against the orange sky, all smiles and free limbs. Juri doesn't normally take to children, but something made her smile when she saw them. "That one," she said, pointing to a girl with steel-gray eyes and gold hair pulled back into a short ponytail, "looks like my sister."

"I didn't know you had a sister," I said with a smile, always delighted to know a little more. Another piece to my patchwork of what she is, what she was, what she will be. I'm lucky to get the small bits that I do.

"Yes," she said, smile retaining, "Sometimes she'd play with me and Shiori. It didn't happen often, but...I loved it when she did. Once we stuffed a sleeping bag full of blankets then took turns getting in and sliding down the stairs. My parents were really angry when they found out."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "It still sounds like fun. But who's this Shiori? You've never mentioned her."

For a moment she acted as if she didn't hear me. Something inside her constricted, and I could almost see the muscles tightening beneath her skin. "She was a friend of mine," she said. Ruka noticed the past tense. "We had a fight a while ago, about some guy."

"You don't strike me as the type to worry about things like that," I said, trying to hide my shock with a smile, "I mean, about guys. But I suppose we all have our-"

"No," she said suddenly, "I didn't like him. She thought I did, but...well, they're together now. She...really doesn't like me anymore. It's kind of confusing. Don't worry about it."

"No, come on," I said, forcing a smile, "What, you don't think I'm smart enough to understand? You insult me, Juri." I'd never seen her like this.

She cracked a half-smile. "I wouldn't blame you. I don't even know if I understand it." It wasn't like Juri to refuse a pot-shot, much less one that I practically offered to her. "But...I don't know. Even though she doesn't like me...she's still very special to me." She turned to me suddenly, a smile like no other blooming on her face. It even seemed as if her eyes were smiling, glittering with something I'd never seen in her before. "I don't know if you could understand."

With sudden horror, I realized, "Yes...I think I can." I turned away from her, looking at the sky that had now faded to night.

The three girls were now just shadows against the stars, dancing in a circle with hands interlocked. The pony-tailed one sang, "Curly Locks, Curly Locks, will you be mine? You shall not wash dishes, nor feed the swine! But sit on a cushion, and sew a fine seam, and sup upon strawberries, sugar, and cream!"

I tried to keep my face blank. "There's something," I whispered to myself, breath heavy, "There's something to save you from."