You know what? I hate html.I wish I was doing almost anything else.Like getting laid. I could be having sex right now, but noooo.I watched Utena lose her virginity again this weekend.That scene is so hot.The fine line between obsession and madness is... what was I saying?GIRL ON GIRL ACTION!!!I want that outfit. I like red and black. What a surprise.This layout took forever to get just right. But that was because I took so many breaks.I never ate glue in kindergarten. Hard to tell, huh?Gio keeps talking about food. What a bitch.LEGS.See, I'm being productive. Now if only I could do this at work, where productive is just a dream...GODDAMMIT STOP TALKING ABOUT FOODYou know, those are the only important things in life. Food, sex, and sleep.Everything else is just window dressing.I have to clean my house still. That sucks.I hate cleaning. I should buy maids.I want to go to a museum, but I don't want to get out of my jammies.I suck at being energetic.Funny, you don't look Druish.

HAH I BEAT YOU YOU AWFUL RIBBON hate you so much

The Camping Trip
Shoujo Kakumei Utena: The Hidden Chapters

Haruka & Kiryuu

Chapter 1

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This is our first attempt at an Utena fic. We haven't even done ones on our own :)

Our disclaimer: We've only seen to episode 29, so don't bug us. We don't own the characters (Though we wish We did... Utena locked in our basement in Chains... heh heh) Saito Chiho and the Be-PaPas own them, though. This is fanfiction and may not follow the 'Ways of the Ohtori World'. If things are a little different, just remember: It's just fanfiction. Not the end of the world.

I made a funny. (And didn't mean to.)

Wanna add more, Ruka?

Nah, you've pretty much summed it up. Oh, wait a minute, yeah, one thing. Like usual, we don't want this fic posted anywhere else, okay? Thanks.

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In Order of appearance..
Characters ..
Played by
-----------------------
Anthy....... Michiru
Utena ....... Haruka
Juri ........ Michiru
Touga ....... Michiru
Saionji ..... Haruka
Miki ........ Haruka

Other appearances by:
Guidance Councilor .... Michiru
Kozue.................. Michiru

Guest Appearances
Sumire....... Michiru
Kanna........ Haruka
Kouran....... Haruka
Iris......... Michiru
Orihime...... Haruka

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(Anthy)

Anthy slowly packed, her expression neutral. How did this happen? she thought to herself. Utena was always an active girl, and loved sports, but how did SHE, ANTHY, get caught up in going CAMPING? She looked around at the various supplies, a tent, sleeping bags, food, and various other implements of torture--- uh, camping. She sighed. Why me?

(Utena)

"Hey, Anthy! Are you about ready?" called out the pink-haired girl as she entered the room and dumped down another load of supplies. "I think this should do it, huh? We're prepared for anything!" She turned to Anthy and noticed the flash of a dubious look before she could school her expression again. "Hey, are you okay with this? I know how you love nature - animals and plants and all that. I think you'll really like the wilderness."

(Anthy)

"Of course, Utena sama," Anthy smiled at her. "I'm sure you're right." She wasn't sure. She wasn't the outdoors type at all. But if Utena sama wanted her to camp, she would camp.

(Utena)

"Well, it's not just _me_, Anthy. This is a school trip, after all - I just elected to go on it." She paused. "If you _really_ don't want to go, I'm sure you can still take your name off the list."

(Anthy)

"I'll go with you, Utena sama," Anthy sighed inwardly. It would have been nice if they hadn't gone. She knew most, if not all, the student council would be going. It would have been nice to be... She blinked at her thoughts. Alone with Utena sama. Without the others to be around. No threats of duels both on and off the dueling grounds. But she wanted to go camping. So Anthy would go as well. And hoped she would survive....

(Utena)

"Great! Now let's go before we miss the bus!" She gathered as much stuff as she could and headed out the door.

(Juri)

Juri sighed, looking up at the forest as she walked to the bus. How she got roped into a stupid camping trip she would never know. It wasn't even a lot of kids going. But here she was, a sleeping bag and pup tent on her back. It was going to be hell.

(Touga)

"Hello, Juri. Going on the camping trip?" He smiled, amused at the younger girl. "I didn't think of you as the outdoorsy type."

(Juri)

"I'm not. SOMEONE signed me up."

(Saionji)

All heads turned and the masses sighed in unadulterated bliss as they observed the devastating beauty that was Kyouichi Saionji. With the lack of proper stewards, he was forced to carry his own provisions onto the bus, but at least he did so with grace.

[[Note from Utena: He's not gonna write like that through the whole story, is he? -_-;*]]

He frowned when he noticed Anthy Himemiya approaching with the ugly tomboy, Utena Tenjou, who was not a worthy adversary and certainly not deserving of the Rose Bride.

(Utena)

"Come on, Anthy!" Utena urged as she hurried toward the bus. She saw Saionji the Dumbass boarding it already, looking as if he expected trumpeters to sound a fanfare at his arrival. She sighed, hoping he wouldn't blather on about his boring self for the _entire_ ride or she might have to throw him out the bus window.

[[Note from Saionji: You're so lowly and crude you don't even _realize_ you're lowly and crude!}} [[Note from Utena: Aw, shaddup!]]

(Miki)

The stopwatch clicked. It was high time they were on the road "Hurry everyone!" he urged. "We're already behind schedule!" He nodded a greeting at Anthy and smiled. "I'm glad you're coming along. I'm not much of a camper." He blushed sheepishly. "Well, I've never actually _camped_ before - so this trip should be very educational, don't you think?"

(Anthy)

Anthy smiled at Miki from beneath her load. Utena sama was carrying more, but she wasn't all that big herself. "I'm sure it will be very interesting," she nodded.

[[Note from Anthy: There isn't going to be any fighting, is there, Utena sama?]]

"I've never gone camping either, but Utena sama thought it would be fun."

(Juri)

"Is there a reason you're toting the Rose Bride along, Utena?"

(Touga)

"There isn't any reason for her not to come," he pushed his hair through his beautiful, thick red mane that all women seemed to love, causing sparklies to emanate from him.

[[Note from Touga: I can't be sued for using sparklies, can I? I mean, Hotohori shouldn't be able to keep them all for himself.]] [[Note from Juri You're such a loser...]]

"As I as saying, she is a student here," he ignored Juri's meandering (loser indeed!!), and started to load his baggage onto the bus.

(Utena)

Quickly unloading what she carried onto the bus, Utena glanced at Juri. "Touga's right, Anthy has as much right to come as anyone, and she spends too much time alone. Everyone should go camping _once_ in their lives." She went back to take Anthy's load from her and smiled at Miki. "So you're a new camper, too, Miki? You and Anthy will be okay - I can't be the only experienced person here." She looked back toward Touga, Juri, and Dumbass. "At least I hope not."

[[Note from Utena: Fighting, Anthy? Um ... I don't _think_ so ....]]

(Miki)

"I think Touga and Saionji camped together when they were children, but considering Touga's station, he probably did so in a luxury trailer with at least one maid and butler along." He clicked his stopwatch. "If everyone's ready, let's board the bus!"

(Juri)

Juri headed onto the bus with a sigh. She went to the back of the bus and sat in a seat, on the outer edge, and just stared at people, DARING them to try to sit with her.

[[Note from Juri: Luckily they know better.]]

(Anthy)

Plopping into a front seat, Anthy sat and waited for Utena sama. She watched as Touga got onto the bus, batting at the sparklies that still surrounded him

[[Note from Touga: How do you turn these things off?!?!]]

(Utena)

Bounding onto the bus, Utena dropped onto the seat beside Anthy and grinned at her. "Let's get this show on the road!"

[[Note from Utena: I think my sparklies only show up when I'm kicking butt in sports - I never noticed. Anthy, do I have sparklies?]]

(Saionji)

Lounging gracefully in his seat across from Touga, Saionji scowled in the direction of Ugly Tomboy and then shifted his gaze to Anthy, his expression softening. She was such lovely creature - truly deserving of his own beauty and style. He would use this trip to impress her, and to suitably shame Ugly Tomboy to a degree that she would never show her (and I use the term loosely) face in public again.

[[Note from Saionji: I used to have sparklies. I think Touga got my sparklies and that why he can't control them.]] [[Note from Utena: I'll 'sparkly' YOU if you keep insulting me.]]

(Miki)

The stopwatch clicked. Miki took his seat on the bus last and waiting patiently for the driver to start their trip.

[[Note from Miki: Um, who's driving?]]

(Anthy)

"Hello, Utena sama!"

[[Note from Anthy: In my eyes, you always have sparklies, Utena sama!]] [[Note from Touga: Away foul sparklies!!!!]] [[Note from Juri: I'm surrounded by babies...]]

(Guidance Councilor)

"All right everyone! We're about to leave. Everyone BEEEEE QUIEEEET on this trip! No yelling, screaming or throwing things!!! Tenjou Utena, BE GOOD!!!" She got behind the wheel and started the bus.

(Utena)

Utena made a face at the back of the guidance counselor. Why, of all people, did it have to be the one woman with an unreasonable grudge against her?

[[Note from Saionji: You underestimate yourself. Plenty of others hate your guts, too.]] [[Note from Utena: At least I _have_ guts, unlike a certain spineless jellyfish I know.]] [[Note from Anthy: Oh dear...]]

(Juri)

Juri sat back in her seat, and pulled out a bag of jellybeans (Hot Buttered Popcorn, of course. Though Root Beer is good...). This was going to be a long trip. She watched the scenery go by, changing from city to country. Rice fields passed by her window, all neat and orderly (unlike some people...), and the woods loomed.

(Anthy)

Anthy continued to smile and wish she hadn't come. What did she know about camping? At least she and Utena sama had a tent to themselves.

(Utena)

"....Sixty-five bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-five bottles of beer! If one of those bottles should happen to fall, there'll be sixty-four bottles of beer on the wall!" Utena sang happily as she had been since they left. She had found the perfect way to drown out Dumbass' boring prattle. She nudged Anthy. "You're not singing! Come on! Sixty-four bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-four bottles of beer...."

(Saionji)

"And then I said ...." Saionji turned away from Touga and frowned in the Ugly Tomboy's direction. She was going to make everyone insane with that nerve-destroying song, and she had a lousy singing voice to boot.

(Miki)

"....If one of those bottle should happen to fall, there'll be sixty-three bottles of beer on the wall!" Miki sang along with Utena, actually enjoying himself. He clicked his stopwatch and smiled encouragingly at Anthy, hoping she'd join in.

[[Note from Saionji: Did I mention that I wanted to wring Miki's neck for encouraging that pink-haired, frog-voiced eyesore?]] [[Note from Utena: Wait'll you hear my rendition of Henry the Eighth!]] [[Note from Anthy: *sigh* oh dear...]]

(Anthy)

"...Sixty-two bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-two bottles of beer. If one of those bottles should happen to fall, there'll be sixty-four bottles of beer on the wall." Anthy sung, sounding a touch un-inspired. She wasn't a good signer. "Oh, look, Utena-sama! We're going into the woods now!" Anthy said happily as trees started to line the road. The bus was on a sharper angle as they went up into the hills.

(Juri)

"Thank God," she murmured, tired of the beer song. She was really glad Shiori hadn't gone on the trip. She was wishing she hadn't. Saionji was so full of himself...

[[Note from Juri: Whoever signed me up on this will die. I'm a city lady, not a country girl.]]

(Utena)

"Hey, look, Anthy! It's a deer-crossing sign! We might see deer in the woods, or foxes, or rabbits ...," she paused and looked at the other girl. "Um, be careful what you choose to bring home with you, okay?"

(Saionji)

"She'd be wise to leave you _behind_ in the woods when she leaves," Saionji said under his breath. The mental picture of Ugly Tomboy wandering lost in the forest forever made him smile.

[[Note from Utena: I thought you had to have half a brain to make mental pictures. Guess not.]]

(Miki)

The stopwatch clicked. They would be arriving soon, from the looks of it. Miki was rather relieved that his twin hadn't decided to come along, although he was equally concerned about what mischief she was getting in during his absence. Oh well, as long as he didn't have to see it happening, maybe he could pretend it wasn't. Or at least ignore it for the time being. He looked over at Juri and wondered who had dared sign her up against her will.

[[Note from Utena: It was Saionji, Juri! Kill him! Kill him!]] [[Note from Saionji: It was not! Don't listen to her, she's mentally unbalanced!]] [[Note from Miki: *CLICK*]]

(Anthy)

"Utena sama, I wouldn't take a deer home with us! Maybe a nice porcupine or skunk," she smiled, gently teasing her fiancée.

(Touga)

"Makes me glad I don't live with them," Touga chuckled.

[[Note from Juri: Me too! Hmmm, Saionji signed me up, huh? Where's my rapier...]] [[Note from Anthy: Oh dear...]] [[Note from Saionji: Juri, I said it wasn't ME! Why would I want YOU along!]]

(Utena)

Turning slightly pale, Utena studied Anthy's features to make sure she wasn't serious. "Anthy, I want you to promise me something. Promise me you won't go anywhere NEAR a skunk if you see one!" She smiled wryly. "That includes Saionji."

(Saionji)

The devilishly handsome green-haired boy schooled his expression so that Ugly Tomboy wouldn't realize he had heard her. In fact, Anthy had given him a great idea. Maybe he could use one of the disagreeable creatures of the woods to foil the pink-haired demon and humiliate her beyond belief. He chuckled to himself fiendishly.

[[Note from Juri: For that, you die anyway.]]

(Anthy)

"Utena sama!" she gasped, then began to giggle. "No, Utena sama, no skunks. Maybe a cute little possum or a bat?"

(Utena)

"A ... bat?" she gulped. "They're night creatures, aren't they? We don't want it keeping us awake. And won't a possum try to eat Chuchu?" [[Note from Saionji: I vote for the possum!]]

(Miki)

The stopwatch clicked. Miki peered out the window and grinned. "We're here, everybody!"

[[Note from Juri: Good, we're here. First thing to unpack-- sword *glares murderously at Saionji*]]

(Anthy)

"No, Utena sama, possums don't eat monkeys, they eat fruit and leaves," she smiled patiently at Utena sama.

(Juri)

"Yay, we're here," she said with a lack of enthusiasm. "Great. I get to camp. With the bugs, the bats, deer, possums, fox, skunk," she glanced at Saionji, "and dirt. Can't forget the dirt."

(Touga)

"This will be fun, won't it Saionji," Touga grinned, getting up. "Ladies first," he bobbed to Utena.

[[Note from Saionji: Juri, stop that! The only reason I said that is because you hate camping and will complain the entire time! Like you just did, I might add.]] [[Note from Utena: Sai-on-ji's in trou-ble! :D]]

(Saionji)

"Yes, it should be most enjoyable," Saionji agreed with Touga, but frowned at the way he seemed to consider Ugly Tomboy a lady. Or a human being, for that matter. Touga always did have strange tastes.

(Utena)

"Come on, Anthy, let's get our gear." Utena quickly left Touga behind to pick up their stuff. She never knew how to take him or his advances, and found he was best avoided.

(Miki)

Having already removed his gear from the bus, Miki put it down on the campground and clicked his stopwatch. He looked around. It was a good-sized clearing, with plenty of room for all their tents. Further away through the trees, he could see a lake and was glad he'd brought a bathing suit along.

[[Note from Juri: Where's my sword?]]

TBC....