If I Could - Chapter Ten
It was the night before she was to go back to school.
Both Kohana and Touga had eagerly been awaiting this; for her part,
Kohana was glad that she was finally out of the 'resting period'
imposed on her by Touga and Saionji, as well as being absolutely
and completely ready for a night with two of her lovers. That was
something she'd wanted to do for a long time, but she'd never had
the time or the place, or two lovers who were bisexual and willing.
All day, the atmosphere had been charged with erotic appetite—Kohana
couldn't keep her hands off of Touga, and he'd returned her advances
almost to ending up in bed. But there'd been a silent agreement
that waiting for tonight would make it better for both of them,
and they'd held off. Concentrating madly on her painting was the
only way to stave off the raging hunger inside her.
It was almost finished.
And she didn't have much longer to wait. All through a meal, where
she didn't eat anything and both Touga and Saionji kept touching
either her or each other, and up to Touga's rooms afterward. Once
inside the sitting room, she'd gone straight to the chaise, draping
herself on it and picking up the wine Touga had left to breathe
while they were eating. She poured for the three of them while Saionji
wandered around the room, looking at the new additions Touga had
made. A new vase full of roses here, some candles in a wrought-iron
candelabra, things that pleased the eyes and other senses. "I'd
always thought your rooms were overdecorated, but they seem to have
become even more so since Kohana's stayed here." Saionji picked
up a little silver ashtray, raising his eyebrows at Touga.
"Forgive me for not keeping my rooms as barren as yours. I
like to surround myself with beautiful things," Touga chuckled,
taking two wine glasses from Kohana and handing one to Saionji.
"Will I ever be able to leave?" Kohana asked mockingly.
Seating himself near her, Touga smiled seductively. "If I
could keep you here, I would."
Saionji laughed at this. "An accessory to your room, Touga?"
He made his way over to where the easel stood, draped with the drop
sheet Kohana had been using, and glanced at her. "May I?"
"Ask him. It's his." She nodded toward Touga.
"You don't paint." Saionji frowned.
"My painting. Her work." Touga brushed his hair back
from his eyes. "Go ahead."
Gently flipping back the drop sheet, Saionji said, "I didn't
know you painted, Kohana."
"It never came up in conversation," she said, and leaned
back to watch his reaction.
It was all she could have hoped for and more. Saionji stared at
it for a long time, forgetting the wine that was in his hand. Tentatively,
his fingers reached out to touch it, drawing back at the last moment
as if he was afraid the painting might take offense. Even unfinished,
the picture was one of her best works. The dark colors drew the
eye in this setting, the white and red starkly contrasting, and
the blue of the eyes that looked so real captured and held Saionji's
Shaking himself, Saionji glanced at Touga, myriad questions in
his eyes. Touga only raised his glass toward Kohana. "It's
beautiful," Saionji finally said.
"It's not art, but it's decent enough." This painting
was different from her others. Modesty was usually not a part of
her nature, but this painting demanded that she be humble about
her part in creating it. She felt strangely shy about showing it
"She painted and repainted so many times that I was afraid
it would never be started, let alone finished." Touga glanced
over at her, sipping his wine. "But there it is. There are
only a few things left to finish it, or so she says. I like it the
way it is."
Instead of going off on a long speech about how the golds needed
to be darkened further and the red of his hair needed to be shaded
and highlighted more and the little mistake she would have to redo
on the sleeve of the hand that held the rose, she kept silent. He
would see when she was finished that it was the way it needed to
"An artist," Saionji mused, reverently drawing the drop
sheet over the painting.
"No." She'd never held any illusions about that. "I'm
a craftsman. A true artist wouldn't have needed to paint and repaint
to keep their vision straight. I just throw out everything that
isn't perfect and do it again."
"Perfection..." Touga nodded towards her. "When
do you start yours?"
"Soon. After yours is finished." And there was another
painting she would like to do—if she could ever find out what
she had looked like. Someone had to remember more than
"A self-portrait?" Saionji asked, walking toward the
other chair near her.
She nodded, and Touga said, "I hope it's as revealing as mine
is." The playfulness in his tone couldn't entirely conceal
"You won't see anything you haven't seen before," she
said, covering her thoughts with a promising smile. On the surface,
her words were true. He’d seen her in all stages of dress
and undress, and he knew very well what she looked like, but as
with his painting, she wanted to turn hers into something that showed
more than just a body and a face.
"A nude?" Saionji asked, his pretty purple eyes turning
curiously on her.
Enough playing around. Kohana stretched lazily, setting her wine
on the table near the chaise. "Possibly," she taunted.
The black silk shirt she wore just happened to fall open enough
to show the shadow of her cleavage.
"Cruel," Touga purred. "She’s been tormenting
me all day, and she barely allowed me any more than a few kisses
to make up for it."
"Such cruelty," Saionji mocked, then glanced back at
her. "If I ask nicely, will you put him out of his misery?"
Kohana appeared to ponder this for a moment, and then said, "No.
What are you prepared to do for me?"
Touga stood, crossing the short distance between them and dropping
to one knee beside the chaise. "You’ll have my unwavering
attention," he said, running his hand down her side.
She smiled and shook her head. "Not good enough."
Taking Touga's glass from him and setting it on the table near
hers, Saionji seated himself behind her, pulling her hair away from
her neck and kissing her gently just beneath the ear. "What
about mine?" His lips brushed her skin so lightly it gave her
goosebumps and his unbound hair spilled over her neck.
"Maybe." Her hand drifted near the buttons of her shirt,
but didn't open them.
Taking a truffle from the bowl she'd kept well stocked while she'd
stayed, Touga held his hand out for her to take it from. She did
so with her lips, sucking on his fingers, and undid one button.
"Only one?" Saionji asked, a delightfully pouty cast
to his lips. "In that case—" His lips brushed her
ear again, traveling down to her neck while his hands gently pinned
hers to the chaise. Kohana let him hold her there, feeling Touga's
hands slide upward over her breasts to the buttons of her shirt.
The silk separated slowly, baring her skin to the soft scratch of
Touga's fingernails while Saionji's hand slid down to cup her breast.
"Beautiful," Touga breathed when he had uncovered her.
Kohana's eyes opened for a moment to see the expression on his face.
She'd chosen the burgundy lace especially for him, knowing that
he would love the way it framed and accented her paleness.
"I suppose that means you like it," she said throatily.
"Not so much that you won't take it off, I hope."
Saionji chuckled. He wasn't as impressed by things like lingerie,
preferring her naked skin to the hide and seek of lace. He lifted
her a little, sliding her over and onto his lap so that her head
rested on his chest, and continued to move his mouth down the side
of her neck while his hands wandered her skin. Kohana's hand wound
into his hair, keeping him where she wanted him.
All the while, Touga was delicately removing the velvet skirt was
wearing, taking advantage of the brief time Saionji had lifted her
to pull it down over her hips. Now it was on the floor, and the
greater part of her skin was bared to his attentions. He moved up
onto the chaise, pulling her legs across his lap almost the way
they had been the first time she'd been to his home, and placed
a tender kiss on her knee as his fingers moved up the inside of
Teasing strokes and scratches at the crease of her thighs and the
lace of her panties soon had her writhing, and Saionji's biting
kisses and slightly rough hands moving over her body only intensified
the delicate, feathery touches that Touga tormented her with. She
barely even noticed when he moved her so that he was between her
legs, but the moist, sucking kiss on the inside of her thigh caught
her attention immediately. Gasping at the intense, shivery pleasure
it evoked, she buried her face in Saionji's neck, biting softly.
The pleasure only heightened from there. Anticipation that had
been building all day was finally being satisfied, with soft touches
and little licks and nips traded back and forth between the three
of them, moans and sighs the music that accompanied them. Neither
Saionji nor Touga would allow her to undress them; every time her
searching fingers made their way to the fastenings of their clothes,
they would tenderly redirect her hands to the other's face or throat
or her own body. It was pampering beyond all belief, both of them
focused entirely on giving her pleasure. When Touga slowly began
to pull the lace panties down over her hips, she could barely catch
her breath for the blissful daze she was in.
Saionji's hands made their way behind her back, freeing her of
the brassiere and returning to play with her nipples as Touga placed
a wet, open-mouthed kiss just above her slit. His tongue snaked
down, dipping between the sensitive lips, and Kohana's breath caught
in her throat. Teasingly, he sucked on them, his tongue flickering
inside to play at her clit and then darting away. Insides quaking,
Kohana tried desperately to keep still; she didn't want her squirming
to disturb either of the men and cause an interruption, but it felt
as if her body would burst if she didn't allow herself some outlet.
Her fingers twined into Touga's hair, shakily stroking to keep them
from clamping down and hurting him.
So far gone was she by the time Saionji lifted his head and murmured
something, her brain refused to bring it into any sort of coherency.
The entire world was only the feeling of hands and mouths on her
body, driving her into a frenzy with ever more insistent pressure.
Touga lifted his head; she whimpered pleadingly and tried to draw
him back down.
"Hold her," he said, his voice husky.
Oh, please, do it.
Saionji gently lifted her up further, wrapping his arms around
her body and resting her head on his shoulder. As delirious with
pleasure as she was, she was glad of the restraint. That meant that
she could allow herself to let go. A split-second after Touga began
to suck strongly on her clit, she wasn't sure she could have restrained
herself any more. It was ravenous, no more gentleness, just pure
lust and absolute hunger for her, and she felt as if her body wasn't
entirely under her control. Thrashing and writhing, he drove her
to a peak—and then another, and finally the last. All that
had come before was nothing compared to this, a delightful freefall
that seemed as if it would almost kill her to feel, and as Touga's
tongue flickered against her clit and then drove into her, she felt
her body stiffen and her back arch and she shrieked. The world suddenly
exploded outward; she was crushed by the weight of her own desire,
her body's aching being washed away by the sudden release, and she
could distantly feel their hands, gentle once again, soothing her
and a tear trickling down her face.
"Beautiful," Saionji whispered in the silence that followed,
kissing her cheek.
Touga's tongue flicked once more at her clit, eliciting a jerk
and a whimper from her, and then he pulled away. "Sweet, too."
he purred, his voice throaty with unfulfilled desire. His hair brushed
along her body as he leaned over her, and then a little growl of
pleasure came from Saionji's throat. Cracking her eyes open, she
wasn't at all surprised to find that they were kissing—and
distracted. She forced her trembling arms to move, unfastening most
of Touga's shirt before he noticed and caught her hands. "Greedy,"
She only smiled softly at him.
"I'll carry her," Touga said, pulling her forward so
that he could slide his arms around her shoulders and under her
knees. Watching through slitted eyes as Saionji stood and leaned
over her to kiss Touga, her hand crept to the large bulge she'd
felt pressing into her back and began to stroke it while the other
undid his shirt enough that she could lay wet kisses on his chest
and shoulder. Saionji groaned, his hand kneading her breast. The
three of them made their way to the bedroom, not really watching
where they were going, and by the time Touga placed her on the bed,
Kohana was more than ready for whatever came next.
Those sinful silk sheets had already been turned back by some considerate
soul; Kohana stretched out, reveling in them as she watched Touga
and Saionji kiss, contemplating exactly what to do. There were so
many options… Touga’s hands smoothed down to Saionji’s
waist, slipping under his shirt and pulling him closer, their hips
pressed together so tightly that she was sure it would take some
prying to pull them apart. In any case, that wasn’t what she
wanted to do—she was having fun watching them, for now. Their
mouths met and parted, forceful and evidently passionate. A soft
groan escaped Saionji as Touga ground their hips together, and Kohana
smiled as she saw Saionji’s back stiffen, his fingers digging
into Touga’s sides.
So sweet. They’re so rough with each other compared to
the way they are with me—but I suppose I’m gentler when
I’m with a girl too.
Rolling over so that she was on her side, Kohana delicately laid
a fingertip on Touga’s waist, just below Saionji’s hand.
His eyes opened; he glanced down at her, but didn’t break
off the kiss. Kohana looked quickly and meaningfully at Saionji
and then drew her fingertip down the bed. Eyes slowly closing, Touga
took a step to the side, turning Saionji so that his back was to
the bed. Pushing herself up to a kneeling position, Kohana lightly
began to pull at Saionji’s shirt, gently removing it from
his shoulders and following the fabric with kisses down his spine.
Once it was off, she bit his shoulder, her arms twining underneath
his to embrace him, her palms flattening on his chest. Saionji shivered,
and she felt Touga lean into him, crushing her hands between them
and forcing Saionji to rest some of his weight on her.
As Touga began to kiss down his throat, Kohana shifted to kneel
on one knee, her eyes catching Saionji’s heavy-lidded violet
gaze. He smiled, his hand coming up to cup her cheek and draw her
to him for a kiss. Their lips met, Saionji’s hunger evident
in the way he bit at her mouth, one of Kohana’s hands trailing
down his skin to stroke Touga’s hair. There was a rustle of
cloth; Saionji’s shoulders tensed, and Kohana smiled against
his mouth. With a growling little purr, she began to pull him backward
onto the bed, his pants sliding slowly off as Touga placed little
kisses on his flat stomach.
Once he was settled on the bed, Kohana and Touga began in earnest.
Licking delicately at his lips and then down his chest, Kohana lightly
stroked his smooth skin, utterly absorbed in the feel of him and
the tiny reactions every touch elicited. She bit gently and then
sharply at one of his flat, masculine nipples, loving the way his
body stiffened ever so slightly; Touga caressed the insides of his
thighs and tasted the skin at his waist and under his navel, teasing
him with feather-light, ‘accidental’ touches in extremely
sensitive spots. Saionji’s fingers dug into Touga’s
arm, not hard, but hard enough that Kohana could see it.
Moving further down, she drew tantalizing lines across his stomach
with her tongue, blowing gently on them so that they would suddenly
grow cold. It was something she’d come to find out that Saionji
enjoyed very much, and he didn’t fail to notice; a small groan
escaped his throat, and he sighed, “You’re killing me.”
Touga laughed softly, glancing up and meeting Kohana’s eyes.
She smiled, tracing the crease of his thigh with her fingertip,
and then leaning down to retrace that line with her tongue. “I
wouldn’t dare,” she murmured into his skin, her cheek
lightly grazing his cock. Her tongue flicked out to draw a wet line
up its underside, and Saionji gasped. Touga soon joined her, their
tongues dancing a duet on Saionji’s beating flesh, keeping
time with the little thrusts and involuntary movements of his hips
with flawless precision. Moving upward to the tip, she felt Touga’s
fingers wind into the hair at the nape of her neck, and after she’d
given the tip a teasing lick, her lips met his in a hungry kiss.
It was incredible; lightly moving her hand over Saionji’s
body so that he wouldn’t be ignored, she feasted herself on
Touga’s mouth, his breath and lips and fingers on her neck
fully reawakening the ravenous ache inside her. Breaking it off,
she bent down and tenderly took the head of Saionji’s cock
into her mouth to get the measure of him before plunging down to
bury her nose in the wiry green curls at its base.
Growling, Saionji thrust his hips up, and Kohana sucked strongly
on him, flattening her tongue against the length of him. The bed
shifted slightly, and then suddenly the little moans coming from
Saionji were stifled and she could hear lips impatiently meeting
and the whisper of clothing being removed. She began to suck harder,
adding the undulating pressure of her tongue against his shaft,
delighting in the feel of Saionji writhing underneath her. Fingers
wound into her hair, not guiding or controlling her movements but
searching for something to hold onto, and then another hand found
its way to her head, stroking her hair. Though she would have liked
to lean into Touga’s hand, she restrained herself and increased
Soon even Touga’s kisses couldn’t stifle Saionji’s
groans, and his hips began to buck wildly. Cupping the pouch between
his legs and gently massaging it made him stiffen once more, his
body as rigid and inflexible as steel as he fought off his climax,
and she heard him tear away from Touga, gasping for breath. A low
chuckle came from Touga’s direction; he said, “Enough,
darling. Don’t tire him.”
Reluctantly lifting her lips from Saionji’s cock and sitting
back on her haunches, Kohana pouted and said, “He’s
not tired. Look at him.” Suiting actions to words, she asked,
“Are you tired?”
Saionji’s eyes blazed with frustrated lust. His arm snaked
out before Touga could stop him, grabbing Kohana by the arm and
dragging her up on the bed beside him as she shrieked softly and
giggled. “No,” he growled, moving behind her. Kohana
planted her knees firmly, reaching out for Touga as she felt the
first nudges at her damp entrance.
I want you all over me, I want you inside me, I want to smell
both of you on my skin and be tired and drowsy all day tomorrow
because of tonight…
Touga laughed softly as he knelt up and moved toward Kohana, his
hair spilling over his shoulder to tickle her face. Wrapping an
arm around his waist, she pressed her cheek against his stomach
as Saionji drove forcefully into her. Sighing, shuddering with delight,
Kohana began to lay light kisses in a trail down Touga’s stomach,
stroking his back and buttocks with the hand that wasn’t supporting
her. There was no question in her mind that this had been, so far,
the loveliest night she’d spent in a long while. Saionji’s
thrusts were slow and powerful; Kohana bent low, suckling the tender
skin on the insides of Touga’s thighs, her concentration divided
between the surging ecstasy of Saionji’s rocking movements
and passing on that ecstasy to Touga. His fingers lightly danced
over her shoulders, sending shivers up her spine, and he sighed
delicately when her lips parted moistly over the head of his cock.
As she flicked the bottom of the ridge with her tongue, she heard
him say, “Angel…”
Saionji’s hands gripped her hips, nails digging slightly
in as he pulled her backward into his thrusts, and Kohana did her
best to keep her suckling in time with them, reveling in the feel
of hands on her body, Saionji’s cock ramming into her and
Touga’s warm flesh pulsing in her mouth. Using all of her
considerable skill, the suction of her mouth and the subtle tracery
of her tongue on Touga’s velvet skin, she soon heard the little
sighs and purrs that signified his extreme enjoyment.
She, too, was enjoying herself, though it was hard to balance her
attention to her own heated hunger and her attention to the other
two. It didn’t seem to matter, however; no doubt the sight
and sound and texture of the three of them made up for any tiny
flaws. It certainly did in her estimation. Saionji’s thrusts
were starting to pick up speed, and Kohana felt that it would soon
be time for him to take a short rest, so she began to increase her
own tempo, the strokes of her tongue becoming firmer and the movements
of her hand over Touga’s body less teasing. One of Saionji’s
hands stole underneath her, his fingers searching out her clit and
beginning an energetic rhythm that nearly stole her breath with
the coursing pleasure it caused. Moaning a little as his pace quickened,
Kohana soon found herself at the brink of another climax, the heat
rushing through her as she strove to hold it off. Suddenly, Saionji
slammed his hips into her, his back stiffening and his cock jerking
inside her as the warmth of his come bathed her inner walls. Kohana
gasped, sucking harder on Touga’s cock, her own orgasm letting
loose in a wave of heat that flushed her cheeks and left her trembling
and weak. Touga moaned softly, his hair tickling her hand as he
threw his head back.
As Saionji pulled out of her, collapsing on the bed beside them,
Kohana tried desperately to drive Touga to a pitch despite her shaking
limbs. He must have felt the quiver in the hand that stroked his
back, however, because even though his hips were making tiny thrusting
movements, he tenderly pushed her away. “Don’t tire
yourself either,” he said softly, his voice rough.
“Please,” she murmured shakily, leaning her cheek into
the hand that cupped her jaw and looking up from under her lashes
at him. “I want you, too.” As shaky as she was, she
couldn’t help but want more.
If I could spend the rest of my life like this, I think I’d
“How could any man resist?” Touga chuckled, pushing
her down onto the bed. Languidly stretching out beside her, all
he did for a few moments was stroke her restless body, watching
her writhe underneath his hand. Just as she was about to speak again
he laid his hand on her mouth, moving over her and then biting at
her nipple. Her breath hissed inward at the tiny sting, her ravenous
body arching upward, and then his weight was pressing her down into
the bed and his lips were moving up to her throat. Wrapping her
legs around him, she lightly forced him downward and he slipped
easily inside her. A soft cry burst from her throat; dazed, she
began to move her hips instinctively, matching his gentle lunges
with fiercer ones of her own. The difference between Touga and Saionji
was clearer now than ever before; where Saionji preferred forceful,
straightforward sex, Touga loved to seduce, to tease and play and
romance her, even when in bed. It was always dizzying bliss to be
A hand crept between them, fondling her breast, and Kohana turned
her head to see Saionji watching them with weary contentment. Smiling
at him, she reached out and stroked his face, running her fingers
over his lips, and he lightly kissed the ball of her thumb as it
passed over them. “Wonderful,” she said between gasps.
“You’re both so wonderful…”
At that, Touga abruptly drove his hips into hers, lifting his lips
from her neck as she groaned. “I could say the same,”
he murmured. Kohana barely heard it through her delirium. Eyes closing,
she tightened her muscles on him, forcing a sigh of pleasure from
him. That breathtaking heat was beginning to build in her again,
and she could tell by Touga’s movements that he was feeling
it too. Rocking her hips up to meet his, Kohana pushed herself slowly
up, her mouth finding his and devouring it with such fervor that
she almost surprised herself. He returned it, his tongue stroking
and lapping at hers impatiently as he gently laid her back down
on the bed. Giving herself over completely to Touga’s attentions,
Kohana began to revel in that desperate, racing intensity, feeling
the answering passion in his own body grow along with hers. Her
breath came short; her body hummed with need, and just as she thought
she couldn’t bear it any longer, she heard Touga’s triumphant
growl and felt his heat spill out inside of her. Saionji pinched
her nipple sharply; she cried out against Touga’s mouth, her
own climax speeding through her and making her entire body quiver.
Indescribable bliss weakened her limbs, and for a moment, she almost
felt as if she was going to faint. Touga’s lips remained fastened
on hers until the last tremor of enjoyment had left them both and
then, carefully pushing himself up with arms that were as shaky
as her own, he smiled and said, “You’re not finished
for the night, are you, angel?” It was more a statement than
a question. He knew she wasn’t.
For Saionji’s benefit, she answered softly, “Not a
“Good,” Touga said, and then lay down on the bed beside
her. “But I think I need a moment or two to rest.”
“You deserve it, darling.” Kohana smiled up at the
canopy, and then looked wickedly at Saionji. “And you?”
Instead of answering her, Saionji shifted over so that his body
was pressed against hers. “You don’t want to rest?”
he asked, his hands already running down her body.
“Later,” Kohana said absently, reaching down to take
him in her hands and murmuring delightedly when she found that he
was well rested indeed.
Their play this time was leisurely, their hands and mouths moving
over each other with unhurried grace. Kohana could feel Touga watching
them both, his gaze traveling over them like a caress, and she found
that it only heightened her own pleasure. Stretching out, her body
pressed comfortably against Saionji’s and her arm thrown over
him as he nibbled at her throat, Kohana breathed into his ear quietly
enough that only he would hear it, “I think Touga deserves
a little more attention, don’t you?”
Saionji murmured softly, lifting his head to look at Touga, and
Kohana lazily turned her head to see him as well. A small smile
touched Touga’s lips as they silently regarded him, and he
nonchalantly rolled over onto his back. Crawling the short distance
to him, Kohana sat back on her haunches, watching him with a small
smile. Saionji hesitated behind her; her smile widening, Kohana
leaned forward and planted her hands on the other side of Touga’s
body, a feline stretch before she continued over him. “Beautiful,”
she said in passing.
Sighing softly, Touga ran a hand down her side, letting it rest
at her waist. Kohana gently loosed it, bringing it up to her lips
so that she could suck lightly on the pulse at his wrist. With Saionji,
sex and the evidence of desire was enough to make it good. With
Touga, things were a little different. It had to be desire for
him. It wasn’t necessary, of course, but the heavy-lidded
looks she gave him as her lips traveled down his arm, seeking out
the sensitive spots, the quickening of her breath as she stroked
his body, even the way she concentrated only on him, as if he was
the only one in the room—she knew that it was what made perfection
real for him. Strangely, she didn’t even have to pretend;
that was how she felt.
Only you can do this to me. Only you can make me forget about
It was as much psychological as it was physical. The weight of
her full attention and the knowledge that behind that attention
was a hunger she only felt for him was as arousing to him as anything
she could do with her body. Perhaps that was why he watched her
so often; perhaps that was why he pulled her down to his side, wrapping
his arm around her and sealing his lips to hers with passionate
intensity. Only absently did she notice Saionji moving over him,
the soft moist sounds that Saionji’s lips made on Touga’s
skin. She was too absorbed in Touga to pay much attention to anything
else. Her hand stole downward, smoothing over the skin of his chest
and his muscled stomach, fingers tugging gently at the short curls
at the base of his cock. Her hand brushed the side of it once, twice,
and she savored the heat and hardness of it, letting her fingers
slowly edge closer to it in elusive caresses. When finally she allowed
him the relief from taunting that he asked for with his movements
and the small sounds he made, he groaned as her hand closed around
the hot length of him, stroking firmly. Despite all of her experience,
Kohana could never quite get over the sense of wonder she had at
the feel of it. Such soft velvet skin covered such heat and steel…
it was always as new to her as the first time. Throwing her leg
over his, she carefully nudged his legs apart, twining herself around
It’s so strange—I don’t usually like this
kind of closeness.
It didn’t matter at present. All that mattered was the gentle
rise and fall of Touga’s body, the delicious play of his lips
over hers and the heated steel in her hand. Squeezing carefully,
drawing her thumb up the underside from the base to just under the
corona, Kohana did her best to drive Touga slowly insane with her
lavish attentions. It startled her when she felt Saionji’s
hands take hers, moving it away and down onto Touga’s stomach,
and she had to carefully restrain a smile when she felt a curl drape
across the back of her hand. Moving up, she traced a meandering
path across Touga’s body, her nails biting delicately at the
soft skin of his waist and her fingers teasing his flat nipples.
His body grew tense under her hands and Saionji’s mouth;
slowly, dreamily, Kohana kept up her caresses, stroking the pulse
at his throat with the pads of her fingers and listening to the
tiny noises of his growing strain. When Touga tore his lips from
hers, his breathing harsh, she smiled and reached down, stroking
Saionji’s hair and then gently pulling him up. Touga watched
her with lust-hazed eyes; she pushed herself up and leaned over
him, letting him think that she was going to kiss him before her
tongue darted out to flick the tip of his nose. With a wicked grin,
she turned away, shifting to her knees to give Saionji a long and
hungry kiss. “Bitch,” Touga chuckled.
The bed shifted as Touga sat up, pushing she and Saionji apart
and laying him down on the bed. A mutual, unspoken decision was
made to end their night with something special. Touga positioned
her atop Saionji, massaging her body for a while as she moved her
hips in a lazy rhythm meant to relax. It was more for her sake;
she had an idea of what was coming. Gradually, Touga's hands moved
downward, cupping and massaging her buttocks. He waited until she
was comfortable with that before gently stroking the pucker between
Though she tried not to, she flinched away a little. That told
him all he needed to know. "Whoever you tried this with wasn't
gentle, was he."
"You'll be gentle," she said, keeping her mind on what
was actually happening rather than what had happened or what could
happen. If there was one thing she trusted Touga utterly with, it
was sex. She didn't think he could ever bring himself to be less
than considerate in bed.
And he was, gradually letting her get used to each new sensation,
using a generous amount of scented oil to ease his fingers inside,
first one, then two, then three. By that time, she was starting
to enjoy it. When he pressed the tip of his cock against and slowly
inside her, she forced herself to relax until she realized that
it wasn't hurting the way it had before, and then she could allow
herself to start to enjoy the newness of the feeling.
Once he was fully inside her, she sank down on Saionji's cock,
the feeling of absolute fullness inflaming her body. Touga stayed
completely still, allowing her to choose when she would move, and
she slowly began to pull off of Saionji, moving back toward Touga
until he was buried in her as far as possible. As she became more
confident, she began to move faster, plunging down on Saionji's
cock and then up and back as she impaled herself on Touga. The hesitancy
she'd felt in the beginning evaporated into utter bliss—the
two of them were perfectly matched for something like this. The
slick friction of the two of them inside her and the delicious little
sighs and growls they made were heady, their attention focused completely
on her. Kohana basked in it—Saionji, usually so argumentative
and condescending, watched her now with eager hunger, all of his
stubbornness gone. And Touga’s veneer of control, that cool
and calm façade he wore, was wearing down into simple enjoyment
of her. His hands tightened slightly around her waist, supporting
her, and Saionji kneaded her thighs, the calluses on his palms stirring
each nerve in her tender skin with slight abrasion. On a whim, Kohana
suddenly tightened her muscles—Touga’s hands tightened
again, his nails biting in the tiniest bit, and Saionji reflexively
thrust upward, groaning. A satisfied moan vibrated in Kohana’s
throat; her eyes, which had closed, slowly opened again. “Oh,
I like this,” she purred, resuming the rhythm she’d
Touga murmured softly and bit her shoulder, encouraging her with
soft touches as she picked up speed.
As tired and keyed up as all of them were, it couldn't last for
very long. But, oh, it was spectacular while it did! She could easily
feel them rubbing up against each other through the thin membrane
that separated them, and it drove her near insane with desire. The
heat of their hands on her only urged her onward, the feeling in
her body spinning higher and higher, until one of them came, the
spasms setting off an explosive chain reaction while Touga pulled
her hips downward, impaling her to the hilt on both of them. The
rushing, whirling sensation demanded outlet; for the second time
that night, she screamed. It was too good, too much—tears
streaked her face, and she slumped down onto Saionji.
So that's what people mean when they say the felt the world
Waiting until her breathing had returned to normal before she even
attempted to move her shaking limbs wasn't hard at all. In fact,
she could have fallen asleep the way she was. But there was still
one thing left to do tonight, and it couldn't be put off.
Slowly she pushed herself up. Touga had collapsed onto her and
was barely holding his full weight off of her, so she helped him
sit up, giving Saionji a kiss in passing. Forcing her shaking limbs
to obey her, she pulled off of them and rolled over, scrambling
under the covers and cuddling up to Saionji while Touga kissed him
and then moved to her other side.
This probably won't work.
She had to try anyway. Touga wasn't used to honesty, and it might
shock her answer out of him. His arms wrapped around her and he
kissed her tenderly. She returned it wholeheartedly, knowing that
this was likely the last night they would ever be quite so easy
with each other.
God, she needed a cigarette. Saionji didn't like it, but he never
said anything against it, so he would just have to put up with it
for now. Leaning over him and snatching cigarettes, lighter, and
ashtray from the bedside table, she settled back in and lit the
cigarette, trying to exhale her nervousness with the smoke.
It took all of that cigarette before she could trust herself to
speak. Laying her hand over Saionji's mouth to keep him from speaking,
she gave him a meaningful glance, and then stared up at the sheer
canopy over Touga's bed. "Touga..."
"Hmm?" He was almost asleep. Good.
"Who is it that wants me on the Seitokai badly enough to force
you to appoint me?"
That garnered an instant reaction from both of them, Saionji stared
at her, and she quickly took her hand from his mouth while Touga
stiffened and rolled over. He only looked at her for a moment, judging
how sure she was of what she'd said.
Though she felt strangely reluctant to lie, it was necessary. She
kept her expression calm as she said, "I might be able to help
you get rid of whatever hold they have on you." Now she had
Saionji's support, judging from the way he sat up and watched Touga.
Volumes of conversation passed in that gaze.
"Go to sleep," Touga said, turning away from Saionji's
gaze. That sadness was back in his face. "I should have known..."
"That I'd find out? I did, and I will." Kohana smiled,
stroking his cheek.
"Go to sleep," he said, removing her hand and rolling
over so that his back was to her.
Kohana glanced at Saionji, saw the way he shook his head, and frowned.
It had been a gamble at best, and she'd lost. Saionji lay back down,
stroking her shoulder and then letting his hand fall away.
There was one thing left to do. Kohana rolled on her side, wrapping
her arms around Touga, and kissing the back of his neck. "Always
remember I gave you a chance, knowing it was more than you'd give
"I will," he murmured, pulling her arms tighter around
If anything had ever shocked me, that certainly did. Kohana was
someone who was most at home within a cloud of lies; to so directly
let me know that she knew the truth, especially knowing that it
would only help me prepare myself for her wiles—unthinkable.
She gave up an advantage. I would never have given up an advantage
The only reason I could think of was that she was actually falling
for me, the way I had planned. Part of her charm, however, was that
no one ever really knew where they stood with her. Even when she
wasn't lying to someone's face, even on the rare moments where she
was telling the absolute truth, those gold-flecked eyes would laugh
and her smile always hid a secret. I knew her best, but that secret
smile dazzled me like I was one of her clueless admirers.
She was truly a beautiful girl, though if one looked closely, one
could see the marks her illness had left. The white hair could be
explained away with bleach and dye, but the too-pale skin, the almost
too thin body, and later on, the way she bruised so very easily—they
all indicated a fragility of health. But her personality covered
that up; she was as regal as a queen when she wanted to be, as cool
as an iceberg when she felt like it, but there was always that twisted
little sense of humor in everything she did. Even the way she told
me she hadn't forgiven me, let me almost forget about it, and then
paid me back for my trespasses on her privacy by forcing Saionji
into a situation where she could break him if she wished—even
that was done with a certain amount of ironic humor. I'm not sure
if he ever really caught on to what she was doing, but I certainly
did, though at the time I didn't know what she'd actually done.
I first saw her long before I spoke to her. She drew my eye instantly—anyone
with those looks would have. Surprisingly she seemed not to notice
me, absorbed in her clique of friends, and I had no real desire
to spend time courting the favor of yet another inexperienced virgin
who would need convincing, who couldn't begin to appreciate some
of the things I had learned, and who would likely become as adoring
and boring as all the rest. I was visiting Kozue quite a bit at
this point, disillusioned with all but a few of my worshipful horde.
But I began to wonder about her. I could walk right by her in the
hall, and not earn a second glance, something that was unheard of
at the time. When her eyes landed on me they were appreciative of
my looks, but no more. It was her walk, of all things, that confirmed
it for me; confident, hands swinging easily at her sides, and that
sultry sway of a woman who knows exactly what pleases her. And the
laughing golden brown eyes, the way they never truly softened—I
saw those eyes in the mirror every day.
Of course it wasn't a coincidence when we met that day. I was curious
about her, and then the message came down from Ends of the World.
I was to make contact with her. I hadn't been watching near as much
as I led her to believe (if she truly ever believed it), and all
the information I needed was included with the letter. Hoshigawa
Kohana, erratic student with no patience for schoolwork, horrible
at sports despite physical grace and potential talent for swordsmanship,
social butterfly, world traveler, prankster and sexual predator.
It seemed like she could and would do anything if she had the inclination.
One of nature's blessed children, as I was.
And when the illness was mentioned, it all fell into place for
me. I understood some of what she was, and the picture was disturbingly
like what would have happened if I'd been diagnosed with an incurable
illness. Why should she do homework? Learning would get her nothing
but wasted time when she was in the grave. Why should she tell the
truth about herself? Better to create a fiction of beautiful lies
than fall under the weight of pitying stares when the ugly truth
was revealed. Why spend what little time there was left in Japan,
when there were so many other things to see and do? Why not be bright
and beautiful, with others to worship and adore her, willing, pathetic
slaves to her whim if she only said the right things and acted the
right way? Why not arrange the world the way she liked within her
Most of all, why not indulge herself in any way she chose? At the
height she’d reached, there were very few who would turn her
down, and anything else she took a fancy to was within her reach.
There was no reason not to do whatever she wanted. After all, in
a few short years, she would be gone, nothing but an insubstantial
vision for those who remembered her as the angel she pretended to
be and a bad memory for those who fell afoul of her. She chose to
live life like a falling star—bright and real for a few short
moments, and then nothing at all.
It must have been a constant undercurrent to her thoughts. It must
have seemed like a big joke after a while; so young and fresh looking,
and so old and cynical inside. That secret smile of hers was the
result of years of looking in the mirror each day, checking to see
whether she'd changed any during the night, and burying her worry
under the hard, ironic humor of her situation. I saw her do it every
day while she stayed with me. That, I think, was why she hated mornings
so much. She was probably never honest about that even with herself.
At least she was cynical enough not to believe the promises I made
her. I genuinely liked her and I didn't really want to hurt her,
but there were too many reasons that I had to. She had a generous
layer of armor around her hope and her heart, more than I had at
her age, and she had the self control it took to think things through
before believing or agreeing with them. I almost hoped she would
drop out of the game—that way I no longer had reason to play
with her, and she was safe from the others. We would find a new
candidate for my assistant, perhaps not as suited, but adequate
enough and someone I could easily sacrifice. The thought of what
she could go through gave me pangs of conscience. I didn't like
I did what I had to anyway, when she didn't leave the game. That
night, when she let me know that she’d found out some of what
we weren’t supposed to let the new Duelists know, I began
to realize that I’d underestimated her. I began to test her.
Naturally, she retaliated, and the test became a sort of game, the
lazy, playful feints of two cats that weren’t quite sure whether
to fight or befriend each other. Without interference, I like to
think that we would have come to an understanding and decided to
let each other’s ‘territory’ alone. I truly would
like to think that, but more realistically, there was always a large
possibility that we would clash. Without interference, it would
have been like balancing a coin on its edge to see which face landed
In Ohtori, the coin lands the way it is told to land.
The morning had gone well enough. Saionji had left early, saying
that he would only let her practice mornings now because it was
her worst time. If she could meet his standards when she was half-asleep
and grumpy, she could excel when she was fully awake. He'd later
admitted, grudgingly, that she hadn't slid back much while she'd
been resting, and that she had a talent for the sword. Then he'd
drilled her relentlessly until the noon bell had rung. She supposed
even that little compliment had taken so much effort for him that
he'd been forced to be nasty all morning to make up for it. No matter.
If he displeased her too much, she could rein him in easily enough.
Sakura, Ichida, and Ayame were full of questions as to where she'd
been for the last few days while they sat at one of the tables in
the open-air lunchroom. The rest of her 'court' was partially in
evidence, but this was a meeting of the nobles. The others truly
weren't much of a hindrance; they helped to spread the rumors that
she wanted spread, and generally kept quiet while she was talking.
"More Seitokai business?" Sakura asked teasingly. She'd
noticed a hickey on Kohana's neck, and was needling her about it.
"No, not really. That was a part of it, but most of the time
I was out of town. There's this great little spa I know of, and
I decided I needed a little time to relax, so I just took it. Some
pampering after all the work I've been doing was something I needed
badly." She was still sort of annoyed that Touga and Saionji
had forced her to stay away from school, but they'd more than made
up for it. Last night had been one of the high points of her life.
"Lazy girl. Can't handle a little hard work," Ichida
had pulled his beautiful face out of his magazines for once, and
he joined in the teasing eagerly.
Sakura smacked the back of his head irritably. "You leave
her alone, Ichida! I don't see you being chosen to join the Seitokai
and breaking your neck learning how to swordfight just so that you
have a chance at being the Seitokaicho."
"Sakura, don't. He's right. I couldn't handle the pace."
Kohana smiled sheepishly. "I guess I'll never learn not to
overdo it." Why bother, when overdoing it was so much fun?
"That's just one of your charms, Kohana. If everyone worked
as hard at the things that were important to them, the world would
be a much happier place." Ayame was always quick to leap to
her defense—always. It was flattering, but Kohana could do
it herself. She could forgive Ayame for that, though, as it was
often a good way to turn a conversation away from a sensitive subject.
Ayame is such a fool, though. She never looks underneath things
to see what's really there.
"Well, we're all glad you've done so well. It just seems like
you're always with the Seitokai now." Sakura's tone held no
complaint, just simple statement of fact. It was one of the reasons
Kohana actually enjoyed her company instead of just tolerating it
the way she did everyone else's.
Kohana made a face. "I know, I know, and I'm trying not to
get too caught up in it, but it's not something I can let go of
now, even for you. I just wish there were more hours in a day—but
then, Saionji would still have me practicing for half of it."
She let out a dissatisfied sigh, truthfully rather pleased at the
way things were going. So far she had everyone exactly where she
"I can believe it," Ichida said, smirking. "He seems
like a jerk."
Rolling her eyes, Kohana said, "You have no idea. I got so
mad at him! But we've kind of reached an understanding now. He's
almost nice to be around, when he's not acting superior."
"And the Seitokaicho? What about him?" Ayame's eyes were
round with awe. "I heard he's been away for a long time, too."
Feigning surprise, Kohana said, "Really? Well, he doesn't
exactly check in with me, so I don't know. I saw him a couple times,
though, and we did talk for a while. He's quite the gentleman when
he's not surrounded by swarms of girls."
"Oh, all you did was talk, huh?" Sakura studied her nails,
to all accounts intensely interested in whether her cuticles were
dry or something.
"Sakura..." A teasing complaint entered Kohana's voice.
Sakura was always the one to call her on a little white lie, but
she knew better than to say anything about the big ones she noticed.
It was good to have someone who understood that sometimes lies were
"Kohana..." Sakura mimicked her teasing tone perfectly.
They watched each other for a few moments, until Kohana burst out
laughing. "Oh, all right. I did let him kiss me. But like I
said, he was a perfect gentleman—“
A triumphant squeal preceded Sakura's remark. "I knew it!
You just can't resist him, can you? You probably begged him or offered
him money or something."
"I would never! I won't lower myself that way for anyone!"
Kohana protested, but Sakura was already holding out her hand.
"Ichida, pay up. I won." Grumbling, Ichida dug a thousand
yen out of his pocket and slapped it into her palm.
"I'm glad to know I'm a source of amusement to you,"
Kohana said dryly.
Sakura overacted gushing seriousness. "I live to
be amused by you. Did your good mood suddenly disappear because
I won the bet?"
Laughing, Kohana waved it off. "No, no. Just surprised. I
thought you had your own life and didn't need to watch mine for
"Your life gets more entertaining by the moment, Kohana. You
can't blame us poor mortals who have to settle for going to class
and normal boyfriends instead of joining the Seitokai and going
to spas and flirting with the handsomest guys in school." Sakura
was never bitter about their differences; once she had realized
that Kohana shared everything she could, she'd become a devoted
friend, settling for what she could have and ignoring the rest except
to tease about it. It was good to have one person she could sort
Ichida pouted adorably. "What, I'm not good enough for you?
I work my fingers to the bone so I can take you out and buy you
presents, and you want a red-headed jerk with a motorcycle and a
Kohana started laughing at that. That was certainly one way to
describe Touga. "I think I'm going to tell him you said that."
Leaping to his defense, Sakura asked indignantly, "Hey, you
want to get my boyfriend in trouble? If he's kicked out, Kohana,
I'll make you pay for it!"
"I'm sure the Seitokai wouldn't expel Ichida over something
so small—“ Ayame began, but was cut off by a cool voice.
"What are we expelling him for?" Arisugawa had come up
behind Kohana. Damn it, all the Seitokai members walked on cat feet!
She never heard them coming.
Instantly, everyone at the table fell silent except Kohana. She
wouldn't let Arisugawa cut short her amusement. As Ichida whitened
and Sakura frantically shook her head 'no', Kohana said, "He
called the Seitokaicho a 'red-headed jerk with a motorcycle and
a commitment problem'." Let her friends squirm for a few moments.
Arisugawa probably didn't care either way about whether Touga's
good name was slandered or not.
"I see." The stormy emerald eyes softened for a moment,
and the lips quirked a little as she glanced at Ichida. "An
apt description, though I wouldn't say it too loudly where he might
Everyone at the table besides Kohana breathed a collective sigh
of relief. "I'll be sure not to, Arisugawa-sempai." Ichida
was almost stuttering. How cute.
"Good. I need to speak to Kohana alone, so if you would please..."
The table and those around them were empty almost as soon as she
Kohana watched her friends and the rest of her court retreat, nodding
to them when they said they'd be back later. What could Arisugawa
possibly have to say to her? Unless, of course, the Seitokai members
had already been warned that Kohana had found out more than she
was supposed to. "There seems to be an empty chair or two here,
Arisugawa-sempai. Have a seat."
Ooh, so it’s playtime, is it? You’ll regret this,
She did, seating herself with the grace of a panther and brushing
back her orange curls. Kohana could see how she could be frightening,
but she'd seen things that were scarier. "I've heard,"
Arisugawa began, "that you've been prying into things that
don't concern you." She leaned back in her chair, easy and
"No more than the Seitokai pried into my own life."
"Those medical reports were real, then? Miki, Saionji, and
I never saw them until that day, and we certainly didn't read them.
The Seitokaicho was the one that let us know of their content, while
you were present." The intensity in Arisugawa's gaze was disconcerting.
Such a relaxed demeanor, covering such readiness—those eyes
alone would set her apart without the Seitokai uniform she wore.
She could be a dangerous adversary.
"I don't care. You probably know my reasons, so you don't
need to waste time trying to change my mind. I'll find out what
it is you're hiding." Self-indulgent Kohana might be, but to
mistake her self-indulgence for laziness or lack of willpower was
Arisugawa's face was unreadable. "You'll be happier in the
end if you don't know."
"I'm touched by your concern, but I'll go to hell in my own
way." Kohana's smile was reckless. "If that's all, Arisugawa—“
Shrugging, Kohana said, "I didn't think so. Go on, then,"
and rocked back in her chair.
The intense gaze suddenly became angry, fiercely so. So there were
cracks in her armor—good to know. "Leave Miki and I out
of your little games. We've had enough of being manipulated and
scarred in a quest for something we couldn't have."
The front two legs of Kohana's chair hit the floor hard, and the
grin left her face. "Finally, a direct word or two. I’m
rather surprised, though, that you came to talk to me about it."
"And why is that?" Her face had relaxed back into calm,
but the anger was still there, flickering under the surface.
She’s like a volcano—the outside is all rock and
ice, and the inside boils and burns. I wonder what it would take
to make her erupt?
"The Seitokaicho prefers plots to direct confrontation. I’m
surprised that you bothered to come and accuse me on his word."
Kohana let her dwell on that for a moment, and then said, "I
suppose he didn't tell you how he found out that I knew."
"What does that matter?" Arisugawa narrowed her eyes,
"I asked him, straight out. I gave him the chance to tell
me, so that I wouldn't have to resort to this, and I told him that
I'd help him if I could. He refused. And then he likely told you
only that I'd found out somehow, and that I would try my hardest
to play with you like pieces on a chess board." Kohana smiled.
"That I'd make you into my pawn, if I could."
I would, but she’s too dangerous. Better to stay away.
"Did Saionji tell you that?" The impatience and anger
had been replaced by cool wariness.
"No. This is my game, Arisugawa. Don't tell me how to play
it. If you don’t interfere, there’s no problem, is there?"
As long as Touga offered lies and half-truths, Kohana could offer
more truth and come out better.
“And why is it that you know so much about the Seitokaicho?
You’ve barely met him, as far as I know…” Arisugawa
trailed off, thinking for a few moments, and then her wariness dissolved
into a faintly contemptuous smile. “I see. I’d wondered
why he was away in the last few days.” She slowly stood, her
derision barely visible. “I would suggest that you learn your
game before trying to play it. The Seitokaicho is an expert, in
his own way, and I suppose he already has a part of what he wanted
Underestimated again. Should I let her know it?
Kohana shrugged, and said, "Maybe." As Arisugawa turned
away, she said, "And maybe I already have a part of what I
wanted from him." She laughed softly.
Arisugawa hesitated a little, but didn't glance back before walking
away. At least her words had hit the mark, though Arisugawa didn't
seem to care either way. That was strange—evoking emotion
was what she did best, whether it was adoration, hatred, jealousy,
or anything else. As far as she knew, though, Arisugawa didn’t
seem to be one of Touga’s little lackeys, and she certainly
would be if she’d been charmed into submission by him. Perhaps
charm had failed utterly with her? It was something to think on.
Kohana decided that she'd have to be on the lookout for Kaoru later
on in the day, and she'd have to spend some more time gathering
information about him. Arisugawa wouldn't approach her again unless
she was forced to, so she was out of the way for a while; a welcome
thought. There was no way that Kohana wanted her around, not when
she was so perceptive and likely to be a problem. The next move
was Kohana's... but first, some thought on what Touga could do to
hinder her. He had a devious mind.
I like that.
Sakura was the first to approach again, nearly running up to Kohana
before anyone else had made a move toward her. Seating herself in
the chair next to Kohana, she said quietly, “Just a kiss,
huh?” Her blue eyes twinkled with amusement.
“Come on, Kohana. At least tell me why I heard that you came
to school with the Seitokaicho again before everyone else gets back
too,” Sakura begged, her voice so low that no one else could
have heard it.
Kohana smiled mysteriously. “I refuse to answer that on the
grounds that it may incriminate myself and others,” she said.
“Others,” Sakura breathed, and then her eyes went wide.
“You heard me,” Kohana said, and then started to laugh.
“But I can tell you this, as long as you never breathe a word
of it to anyone,” she continued once her laughter had faded.
This was one of the things that Sakura would never dare tell anyone.
She never did when it involved sex. “He’s quite the
gentleman when he’s not surrounded by swarms of girls, though
he does tend to focus on the girl in the room.”
For a moment, Sakura just stared, and then she suddenly took a
deep breath. “You’re so bad,” she said admiringly,
and then laughed. “That’s so cool!”